A
female
age
30-35,
*honeaddict
writes:Im in 2 relationship for the past 4 years. My boyfriend beats me up. I've lost all my friends for him.now I have no one to tell me what to do. Every1, including his friends have told me to move on and I also tried. I tried getting into another Relationship just to forget about this one but I failed. I couldn live without this guy. But now that im with him I cant take the torchur. I don't know what to do. I really don't. I know I cant get out of it but I cant be in it also. He almost broke my hand and now he doesn't even care...
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female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 hi
he has got you weak so he has got you convinced you need him. you don't need him. you have got caring friends, you are not alone.
when you say you can't live without him - can you tell us the reasons for this? if he is so abusive and violent, can you see that although you will think you miss him for a while, you will then have more peace of mind with him gone? do you remember how you used to feel before you were with him? did you feel better than this or worse than the way you do now?
i know its hard when you are not ready to leave someone, even when you know they are not good for you. maybe it would help to have a break from him - don't think of it as a permanent break (if the thought of that upsets you too much) - give your self a few months away from him. and in that time - work on yourself - think about your self and your feelings, think about what you want, but do some fun things too. at the end of this time away; try again to decide if you want to go back to him or stay away
xx
xx
A
female
reader, nanie20  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 You have to learn to love yourself...before anything else. He doesnt love you he love the punch bag he has that put up with everything. You need to talk to someone that can help you appreciate everything that you are. Stop loving him to live and live to love yourself. Is better of for you to leave him because one day he can just kill you if he doesn't even care about the broken bones or the emotional damage that he is causing on you. Save yourself and get out of that relationship its the safe thing to do.
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A
female
reader, Cherrie_StPierre  +, writes (27 January 2011):
 So many women go through this. The fact is sweetie, he does not love you. Men do not abuse the woman they love. Abusers have a sick and twisted sense of love and honestly, it will only get worse. He has beaten down your self esteem so that you will never leave him and he will always be able to hold this over you. There are so many men out there that would never dream of treating a woman this way. Please leave. Go to your family or a support group. Make new friends, anything to rid your thoughts of needing him. YOU DO NOT NEED THIS MAN! Love yourself hunny. Get out before it's too late. Force yourself to not go back. xoxox
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Here's a number to help you:
Vanitha Sahayavani
The Bangalore City Police initiated the women helpline named Vanitha Sahaya Vani (Women helpline) on 22.1.99. Any person can dial to telephone No.1091 in respect of any Women in crisis situation. The volunteers and women police personnel work from 8 am to 8 pm on this helpline.
Help Line For Women - 080 25233650
Mahila Sahayavani - 22943225
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): Google a women's shelter and they will give you advice and help you.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Look, you MUST get away from this man NOW! Before he kills you.
You CAN get out of it and you MUST. Also, don't try getting into another relationship to forget about this man. That won't work - not until you have left this horrible person and had a chance to heal mentally and physically in a place of safety.
I don't know where in India you are, but here is a link for women in your situation. If you phone one of the numbers and tell them where you are, they should be able to refer you to a local shelter where you can get help.
http://www.sawnet.org/orgns/#India
Please look up this website and call! Please!
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A
female
reader, its ok +, writes (27 January 2011):
it must be awful not having anyone to talk to-that is the first step to getting away from him,you will never manage to leave him and not go back if he is the only person you have-Start mentally preparing yourself now-keep telling yourself that you will leave him in the future,when the time is right and you are ready,gradually you will get stronger and get used to the idea of being without him-you need to get used to the idea long before you actually leave him-if you want this to work,and to get away from the torture this love is causing you,both by the way he treats you when you are with him and the missing him when you are not,then you absolutely cannot finish with him until you are ready,or you will fail again and again-he will talk you round or you will give in and call him-having said that,if it gets to the stage that you are scared for your life,you need to get away from him immediately,even if it is just temporary,to let things calm down.Anyway,while you are getting used to the idea of being without him and gathering your strength,you need to be building up a network of people around you-try and patch things up with some of your friends,or try and find a way to meet new people-think of places you can meet other girls your age,if you are not isolated and lonely,it will make things a lot easier,trust me-although it's mainly love that stops you getting out of this,lonleyness really dosent help-I wish you the best of luck and you can PM me anytime if you need to talk to someone
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): You have to get out of this, before he really hurts you. You can live without him he has just got you to believe you can't get help and get out of there.
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