A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I’ve been divorced for 2 years. Separated in 2019. I haven’t dated in many years. Now it’s online dating which is daunting and sometimes intimidating. I’m aware this question is ignorant and judgmental. Please go easy on me. I met another divorcee through social media. He’s 53 yr old. We have been seeing each other 2 months. No sex yet. We went on 3 dates in town when we first met. . I’m not a flashy person so I picked casual places. Like T shirt and jeans to go eat a burger or tacos. We then did several low key dates(6-7 dates) hiking or just hanging out at my apartment. He told me last month his money is tied up and can’t afford to take me anywhere For a while. I offered to pay or at least split the check. He said no way.I don’t expect champagne and caviar but it turns out this person is a millionaire. His home is tremendous. I just found out he hired a personal chef last week. Is this a red flag? Is he testing me? I don’t like the idea of being testing or being played in a game where I don’t know the rules.
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female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (12 July 2023):
 Just because a person "has money" doesn't truly mean that they have access to the money so he may be telling the truth. It could be tied up in a trust fund, stocks or bonds or investments. Who knows? He could also be testing you, its hard to say. If things don't feel right then walk away. If he asks you for money then run.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2023): Money is tied up means he inherited it or got it due to luck, not brains and hard work. With some of these it is easy come easy go with others they are wary of being fleeced. The good thing is he is more like you than the hardworking variety who would usually prefer another hard working and well off person as their partner.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2023): I am a self made millionairess and I can tell you such people would not date a stranger out of a chat room or dating site. Because the way we see it many of the people who want to go out with us or marry us are gold diggers, we don't have enough in common with them anyway, most would be what we call lazy, if we worked hard for our money, and we would not date people who are lazy or who want an easy life or who are irresponsible with money, especially other peoples'. It took me many years to find someone who was not lazy and after my money and it was impossible online.
Youcannotbeserious is right. It could be a scam. But Youcannotbeserious forgot one thing. It would not be worth investing all of this time in a scam if you were poor. The amount he might get from you after all these days would not be worth the investment of time.
With all due respect a man who is a millionaire would already be snapped up unless he is very very fussy or there is something wrong with him.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 July 2023):
 " Is he testing me?"
Could be. But it's a bad way to test someone because there are plenty of "dates" you can go on that don't COST money.
Perhaps the REAL reason is he is either STILL married, he is seeing someone else OR he is living far beyond his means. Or the whole "he is a millionaire" is a scam.
If he can't afford to go for a hike or a walk on the beach/park - you are wasting your time.
I would just tell him :" it's a shame you don't have time to go on dates, and I wish you well. I never expected you to pay extravagantly to go out with me. Going on a hike is free, I say that as advice for the next woman you date."
So good luck.
then you block and move on.
Whether he has money or not, is irrelevant. He isn't MAKING time for you, that is the REAL issue here.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (10 July 2023):
 If he tells you his money is "tied up" and asks to borrow some until his funds are available, run and don't look back, lol.
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