A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well i've been dating my boyfriend for a long time now. And it's just getting worse and worse. In the beggining everything couldn't have been more perfect. But now it's like he's a control freak. Everytime I want to go out and hangout with my twin sister he tells me to be good. When he says "be good" He means don't hangout with guys or cheat on me. I have never cheated on anyone in my life, and he knows this. He cheated on his x-girlfriend. He also doesn't let me talk to guys that are just friends either. He gets really mad at me over really little things, and explodes and yells and screams like it's the end of the world. He does have positives too. He's a really nice guy, he can also be really sweet. I just feel he might cheat on me like he did to other girls. So I find myself preparing for a broken heart, and trying to see what my life's going to be like without him it's really hard. It seems like he doesn't care that we might not be together someday. We almost had a child together and everything. What should I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Original shiraz!  +, writes (2 April 2009):
firstly you should never have to imgine yourself in a situation without him! if your serious and want to gain a solid relationship then you will know inside that your future lies with him, i think you love him but somethings holding you back.
his posessive streak will damage what you have and eventually it will end what you have, you shouldnt live your life by the rules of your guy, its not right and certainly not fair. you know how he reacts to things and you know what winds him up but at some point hell boil over and the smallest thing will make him flip, honestly you dont want to wait for this day. the problem needs sorting now to avoid anything like this in the future.
talk to him, it may seem hard at first but if your honest with him hes likely to understand himself and the relationship a lot more. Tell him how his behaviour and attitude to your life upsets you and you feel it could end the relationship, stress that thas not what you want (as i dont feel you do) and you want to support him through this. you need to tell him that its pushing you away, be blunt firm and fair in what you say, he needs to get the message if he wants to remain with you.
Dont let yourself fall into a trap where you feel 4 months down the line its getting even worse because when you fall into this pattern it could turn really nasty. You seem like you have an open mind but yet for now your opinions and independance are on hold, dont change who you are for anybody. remind him how much he loved you when you first met and how you feel yourself changing.
What you once had can be regained if you both want it enough, it takes two though, you cannot do this alone you both need to put 100% support into each other, if you believe its right then fight for it if you feel its too late i suggest you leave now. best of luck xxx
A
female
reader, crimson_kiss +, writes (2 April 2009):
 The control he is putting on you is because not only of his OWN past, but because of his insecurities. Tell him you cant handle it and if he can't trust you with the things you do or say, then there is no point in going any farther. He needs to back off a bit.
Sounds like his temper is a bit of problem too. Everyone has their good and bads, ask yourself this much...how much can you take of this situation?
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