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Which one is the one for me?

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 April 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 2 April 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *IFI212 writes:

Ok, so, last october the girl i liked (lets call her X to make this easier) told me that she liked me too, but then three weeks later X said that things were too weird and that we should just remain friends. We both moved on, or so i thought, as i went on to like another girl (lets say Y) and X admitted to liking another guy. However, things with Y, although we did have something, didnt work out, and for X they never even started. I still spoke to X and all the time i was with Y, i got the impression that X wasnt actually over me. Anyway so things ended with Y, and me and X continued to talk, and all the time i got the impression she liked me again. Then one night before christmas i got with another girl (she can be Z) to the knowledge of X. Although she wasnt obviously jealous, she did seem to make a few comments about it which might hint that she was. But anyway, the new year came and the whoel feeling that X liked me continued, until one day when she finally admitted that she did, and despite the other two girls i admitted that i actually stll had feelings for her. So we decided that we would keep things low down and if it felt right we would go for something. We discussed this about two months ago and nothing has happened since, and i sometimes doubt whether X does actually like me as i have seen her openly flirt with other guys, and sometimes get the impression she doesnt want to talk to me. So with this in mind i was a bit put off. Then a couple of weeks ago me and Z got together again, but i was under the impression that it was just friends mucking about as i knew she was kind of seeing someone else, but not seriously enough that she was cheating on him. And then last week, at a dance, both X and Z were there, and while i was talking to Z, X kpet on looking over seeming jealous and so i asked X to dance, and Z seemed jealous too. Then one of Z's friends told me that Z did actually like me, despite this other guy she was seeing, and i admit i have some feelings for her too.

SO basically the situation is, X likes me and seems jealous about me and Z gettin together a few times, but still openly flirts with one guy inparticular, Z likes me too, I like X more than Z, although i do have some feelings for Z, but Z demonstrates her feelings more openly that X, and so i feel a bit put off X, and now i just dont know what to do!!! Any help would be much appreciated! Thanks.

View related questions: christmas, flirt, jealous

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A female reader, skylove14 United States +, writes (2 April 2009):

Wow-chy, mama, thats confusing!

Okay, you still like X while your dating Y. Now, this just isn't going to work. Especially since X is constantly giving you mixed signals. The first thing you need to do is take X and sit her down and *get*. *the facts*. *straight*. Ask her what the deal is and why she keeps acting jealous when your with other women yet totally blowing you off when you try to talk to her. Don't just take half answers or let her avoid the question!!!!

And another thing. Do you like Z? I mean **really** like her? Cause if your still hung on X, then its not fair to Z to just keep her there because you can't have X and want someone there to replace her. No girl wants that and, in the long run, it will just hurt you both and cause unneeded drama. I hope I helped, this is just what I would do if I were in your situation. I know that some of this might be difficult, like confronting X or letting go of Z, but you can't have them both.

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