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anonymous
writes: If a 13 year old girl like a 20 year old guy,and he smiles and stares at her,and she to afraid to talk to him, and she loves him, what should she do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 August 2006): Don't do it. If he's 20 why can't he get a girl his own age!! Think about it. If you don't want to get hurt, then don't even step one foot into that type of relationship.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2005): go for it
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male
reader, littleasianfriend +, writes (21 September 2005):
you should wait for the one . he is 7 years older than you and chances arethat there is someone around 13 that is the one for you.
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reader, becky05 +, writes (2 July 2005):
She should do nothing! any 20 year old man that would have anything to do with a 13 year old girl is a paedophile. Stay well away from this man!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2005): Hey girlie. I know what you are talking about cause I have the same problem. I'm 13 and he's 20 as soon as we meet we both knew that we was going to be together for a long time.We have talked about having sex but he disagreed. He felt that we should wait till I was older. So don't listen to eveybody else cause I did and I couldn't eat or anything cause I wasn't happy w/out him, till that day when he called. Everybody thinks that with this big of a age difference that we can't have anything in common but everybody that thinks that is wrong.You guys may think that you know what you're talking about but truly you're not in a 13 year olds' body. You have to remember that most 13 year olds don't have a 13 year olds' body or mind. Look at me, I'm 13 and I have size d almost double d bra size, yeah I know you probably think I'm lying but that's where all my fat cells are.So to answer your question, do what's right for you and him not what everybody else wants you to do. If we all done that then nobody would be where they are today.From a friend that knows what you are feeling.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): What on earth are you thinking, girl. Take a good look at the kind of relationship you are talking about here. You are 13 and he's 20. There are nearly a decade of life dividing the two of you and I have to ask, “What on earth can you guys possibly have in common?” I ask this with extreme caution because I, along with every parent reading this answer, fears you will say there could be a love bond between you two. No way girl..this guy si looking for sexual relations and that's it. When I think of this words come to my mind like; statutory rape, lecherous intentions, borderline pedophilia and so on. If you don't know what these words mean...ask your Mom and Dad. Honestly the whole thing makes me want to yell, "Run the other way...fast! Date boys closer to your own age and enjoy your youth!" I can state with great confidence that most normal well-adjusted, decent 20+ year old men (and more than a few men in their late teens) would run to the nearest psychologist if they ever seriously thought about having that kind of a relationship with a 13 year old child. Sorry, I know how much teens hate being called children but really, you’re not an adult by any legal or socially accepted definition of the word so get over the child label and just accept that this 20 year old who is flirting with you probably has some really scary, unsettling demons lurking in his closet and that those demons are just waiting to jump out and scare you back into a reality where teens date teens and 20 year old men just don’t troll for dates at the local junior high school. That is weird and very scary. Any man that age (and older) involved with a girl who is so much younger most likely suffers from one, some, or all of the following personality quirks; he is immature, he is an under-achiever, he has low self esteem, he is a control freak, he is emotionally messed up, he routinely strays from socially accepted norms, he’s just creepy, etc… When all is said and done the dude is just not right..something is off in this guy's head. Get him out of your head, girl. And if that doesn't work...tell your parents! He is wrong to be flirting with you and leading you on like this. Be strong, ignore him and promise us all...never, ever go anywhere alone with him. Stay safe.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): Hi there angel, I'm a guy and I'm 20... just like the guy you like, well from my point of view and knowing how a 20 year old man thinks, I really think you should do other things that keeps you away from feeling the way you do, remember as everyone above me said here, the age gap is big, and at my age, there are actions in which you may regret on the later stage in life or can make you a different person ... Please angel, ingore the signs and go out with your friends at your age, being 13 is wonderful and not an age to fall in love ... yet. Wish you all the very best and take care.Matt,20
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2005): im 15 and very very happy with a 20 year old.Hun u may be interested in him but not all 20 year old boys can just 'like' a girl and not wnt to do other things.im lucky enough to have the perfect 20 year old who will wait :).but i say if you feel he is a nice guy then go for it and talk to him girl theres nothing wrong with that at all.You have to rememebr though being 13 your still young and you should enjoy your life as a 13 year old should.Dont worry about all the love business because it will come at a later date.My advise to you is talk to him ,get to know him then you can truely decide if hes right for you :) luv franxx
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reader, lucy +, writes (22 June 2005):
well maybe he is just being friendly, but no matter how much you like him this guy is very old compared to you and i don't think anythign should be done about it. If he is looking at you in a flirty manner, i do advise to stay away from him. These guys are very creepy and are often only after one thing. At your age, seven years is a big deal and would probably hurt alot of people around you, including you! At your age you should concentrate on having fun with your friends and you should be enjoying being young.
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reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (21 June 2005):
 What you are experiencing isn't love, although it may feel like it! It is a crush. You may be a very grown up 13 year old, you may look older than your age but you aren't quite ready yet for a proper relationship with a guy. I'm saying this because you could end up hurt and its that part you may have difficulty dealing with at your age.
The other answers are urging caution and they are right but you haven't said you want to have sex. The problem is that this guy, who is older than you, may want that. It is unusual for a 20 year old man to be interested in a 13 year old girl and people will jump to conclusions that he only wants one thing but to give him the benefit of the doubt, he may simply be looking at you because you are lovely to look at, not because he is some kind of sexual predator!
Whatever his thoughts, look after yourself and be aware of the risks. You are growing up fast but don't do something you may regret later. Keep him at a comfortable distance and have fun with your friends. The feelings you are having are perfectly normal, just put them on hold (I know how hard this is) and wait for someone closer to your age to come along when the time is right.
Keep smiling.
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reader, aunt april  +, writes (21 June 2005):
hun you are only very young and he is a man. Your time will come when someone will sweep you off your feet but this man is not him. You need to have fun. You're just a teenager. Hang out with your friends. If you are worried that he may approach you, tell your parents or a teacher, someone you can trust.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (21 June 2005):
 What should she do? She should assume that he's a sexual predator, who, for some reason, won't date women his own age and so hangs around young girls instead.
Honey, you are so far out of your depth you can't even *see* the bottom, much less touch it. A 20-y-o who shows a romantic interest in a 13-year-old doesn't want to hold your hand in the moonlight and give you a chaste kiss on the lips... he's only interested in you as an easy sexual conquest. Someone like that will tell you anything he thinks you want to hear in order to get you into bed. Watch out!
Here are some dangerous lines to beware of:
1. "You're only 13? Wow, you look much older! I would have thought you were sixteen at least!"
2. "Age doesn't count. Only true love counts."
3. "Older girls don't understand a guy like me. I need someone special, who can see me for who I really am."
All these lines and trillions more like them are designed to groom you into thinking that he believes that you're a sexy, worldly, sophisticate, and they're intended to make you fall for him and stop thinking rationally. Don't be a sap, girl. You don't know him. You don't "love" him. And more importantly, he doesn't love you. He wants to USE you.
What's a 20 year old doing around girls your age, anyway? Don't you ever even wonder why he would take a risk trying to pick up a girl who could get him arrested? No, hon. This is RED FLAG territory. Stay away from this guy and get to know some boys your own age.
I'm speaking from sad experience, here. My first-ever sexual experience was rape at age 13, by an older guy (18) who treated me special and told me I was "the only woman who every understood" him. Then, when I was too scared to agree to sex, we had it anyway. Not fun.
His smiles are BS. Don't buy it.
Flee! Flee!
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reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (21 June 2005):
Sweetie pie...you are way too young to have a romance with an older man.If this guy has sex with you, he will be arrested and charged with Statutory Rape....that's the Law !If he KNOWS you are 13 & he pursues you...then something is really wrong with his values...you are innocent & naive & he can take advantage of that to manipulate your affections.13 year olds need to just have fun with their friends and enjoy being a teenager.Wait a few years before you decide to have a boyfriend.Take your time honey, there's no rush.If you have a good relationship with your parents, talk to them about this...or an older friend or relative you trust.Guard your heart little lamb.When you are older, you'll meet an awesome guy & fall in love !((big hugs))
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