A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been going out with my grlfriend for 2 years and everything was great, but 6 months ago she made a new friend. He is a male and I had no problem with this but after meeting him on a number of occations it is obvious that he is attracted to her. They are both very flirtatious together and I dont feel comfortable when with them both. My girlfriend seems to drop everything for him when he wants something and they text each other all the time when they are apart. Is this all inocent or should I be worried? I have mentioned to her that I think he likes her and she just brushed it off. Can you give me some advice?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2007): Have a chat with your girlfriend first. Make it clear that you definitely trust her 100% but you do not trust her guy friend. Then have a chat with the guy saying your concerns, then ask him politely but firmly to stop flirting with your girlfriend.
A
male
reader, jmac1344  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 You could talk to him about it, man to man.
But he might just be a coward and tell your girlfriend about it.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (24 April 2007):
 Well, you don't have to trust him. You just have to trust her. Do you? It takes two for any relationship to work.
I have been in your situation before; in college a girl kept going after my guy. I told him that she was after him, and he didn't believe me (said I was crazy).
Years later (we were still friends), I was talking to his wife. We started talking about this girl. His wife didn't like her either, and we agreed that she was trouble and was still going after him. I made a point of saying "See? I'm NOT crazy!" and the three of us laughed. But my point is that (although I NEVER liked this girl, and neither did my friend's wife) nothing ever happened between them. They were just friends. And since I trusted HIM, our relationship didn't suffer for it.
Now, if you don't trust HER, it might be a very different story. So, do you trust her?
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A
male
reader, AdamPayseno +, writes (24 April 2007):
 If I was you I would be very worried indeed. My advise to you is.. You have been together for 2 years and you still have a communication problem... I find that far more worrying then a possible affair. Randomly ask her if you can sit down and have a talk with her.. Tell her it's important.. This will get her into a serious mood and then you can tell her that you are insecure about the 'friend' situation.. You may feel vulnerable after this, but heck you need to open up sooner or later. She may give you the re-assurance you need.
Good luck, and I hope you find what your looking for.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (24 April 2007):
 In my experience letting things like this bother you is the fastest way to end your relationship. If she wanted to be with him she would have dumped you six months ago but she hasn't. In my opinion when a girl is friends with a boy there's always a degree of flirtation between them. And yes it's down to sexual tension, but we don't always act on our sexual tension. I'm sure you've got loads of female friends who you would like to have sex with but never would because you love your girlfriend. Saying anything to your girlfriend about this guy will rile her up and as her friend, this guy will be the person she turns to. The best thing you can do really is to support her and trust her. If you two are meant to be all will work out.
CD
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