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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi I am having a problem... well to start I am 18 and I have had sex with 3 different girls, then the 4th is my girlfriend now, well we have been together for 8 months and we have only been having sex for about 2 and a half months, but we don't do it often... my question is because I cannot last long with her at all, I feel really bad when we get all into it and I'm done in a minute... is something wrong? Could it be that she was a virgin before me? I'm thinking that it could be becasue I really love her, and every time it's not sex, it's making love, and with the other 3 girls I could last as long as I want but there was never love involved... just hoping someone could help me out because I really want me please her but I can't satisfy like I did with the other girls Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): Well, I have had the opposite problem, not being able to get off, but can tell you yours is far more common problem. I have a hard time getting off at all if I don't have an emotional connection, so though they are different in nature it's just the other extreme of the same correlation. But to answer you question a common technique I've heard from friends is to simply masturbate before hand so as to lower your sensitivity. Also if you are spending enough time before penetration, preferably bringing her to orgasm at least once first, you should be OK no matter what. The most important thing however is open communication and you have that so you two are way ahead of the game.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): My comprehension is completely in tact but i appreciate that suggestion. He asked why he wasn't lasting as long and you told him that he didn't have to. I don't think he cared that he didn't have to, i think he cared why he wasn't. Men sometimes.. or as far as i've learned, always get insecure if they can't last very long during sex, it doens't matter if they feel they need to or not. I've read several of your answers and i think you could ease up a little on the sarcasm. I'm not getting into anymore of this with you, so don't feel the need to post to me again, as i won't be checking for it and therefore will not even see it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): aw that's sweet.. i bet she feels special that you are so different with her than you have been with other girls.. Maybe if you take your time in the beginning, you know start off slow and easy cuz that feels good too.. and then speed up and alternate speeds a lot so that it doesn't all feel amazing at one time. My husband is pretty quick too, but i just love him so much that i don't mind and i'm glad that he's enjoying himself so much.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): and i agree, she really didn't say anything relevant to what you asked.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI thank you for your response and it does somewhat help....well to start I hope I never have to hookup with another girl because I love my girlfriend too much......and sorry for confusing you on my question, we do talk a lot and communicate very well, she was a virgin before we got together....and maybe since she was a virgin that could be the reason because the other girls I was with were not virgins when we hooked up....and yahh I'm really thinking it's the whole emotion thing because it doesn't matter if we do it or not, just as long as I'm with her
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): ah.. 18 and sez with 4 girls huh.. first thing i want to say is if you and this girl break up, please don't have sex with so many other girls who you don't really care about.
It sounds like you're not sure if she is a virgin or not.. I hope you two are communicating. It seems like that is something you should have asked her before you started having sex, unless you are suggesting that maybe she lied about it. In which case, that's a weird relationship you have going.. but i'm sorry.. that's not what you asked. Maybe she is doing somethiing differently.. i nkow that there are these muscles that i tighten when i want my husband to finish. tightening them makes him finsh a million times faster. If she's a virgin then she is tighter, so that's also something to think about.. and find out for sure. And there are different types of condoms, some of supposed to give certain sensations or whatever ( im not into them) but that may be doing something. did you change what you're using? Or stop using them? Because it feels better without it too, from what i know anyway. Emotions are tied to erection.. Mu husband can only get one from me, and has never gotten one from anyone else, becuase he never had a girlfriend and therefor never cared about anyone and was therefor never sexually attracted to anyone. So the love thing could be it as well. I guess this whole post is pointless becuase i really don't have an aswer for you. Sorry.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes I do and I have made a girl orgasm before many times....you really didn't answer my question, you just asked me one
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