A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My lady friend's daughter snooped her phone and caught us cyber-sex-ting She is 72 and I am 69 and now they will not let me see her mother. Any advice? It was only texting and nothing being acted out. They say she has memory problems, which she does lightly, and that I am taking advantage of her. She pleads with them that I have not. She still drives,rides (or did ride) on my Harley on thousand mile trips, flies across the US and back by herself. Does that sound like someone who is disadvantaged. I am not that sick for God's sake. It was pretty profane and I understand that they are being well meaning but to me rather self-righteous! I am completely devastated. They are keeping her in another city and turned off her phone. She sneaked a note to me in the mail asking me to "please do not give up on me, I love you" It just makes me tremble.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (15 January 2011):
 It's really difficult to judge the state of a family or their affections. I hired someone to look after my husband's father and she managed to alienate our family to everyone else in the town she moved him to and secure his inheritance for her and her 30 year old son. She became a local politician - need I say more?
If you follow the money trail - inheritance - it isn't always the kids who are after the money.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (14 January 2011):
Yeah, like dirtball said, that's just not right. Can you visit her? At your ages, there's nothing wrong with any kind of loving and her kids wishes shouldn't be leaving her feeling so sad! Perhaps face-to-face communication would be the best thing for all involved. The kids will get a chance to see that you care about her well-being as much as they do.
On the kids behalf, it's not easy being changing shoes and becoming the "parent" to an aging parent - I'm sure they are probably trying to do what they think is best and they may be having a bit of a knee-jerk reaction. I also have lost a few relatives this way so if you haven't seen her in a while, prepare yourself in case her children are right and her condition has further deteriorated; which might be why they are overreacting and be so overprotective. I could see if she was drifting a bit that a sexual text might even be a bit shocking to her - if you see where I am going. I certainly hope I am wrong and hope that things do work out when you visit.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (14 January 2011):
 WTF?!? You're adults! Her kids are treating her like she's some pre-teen or something. They just don't like the idea of their mom having a new relationship, and they need to realize she's free to live HER life as she sees fit.
She's not cheating on her husband, right? I'm guessing not. Honestly, that sounds like borderline elder abuse. Hopefully she can stand up for herself.
My heart goes out to you.
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