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male
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*isky_Endeavor
writes: My girlfriend and I have been together for 2 years now and she tells me she wants to have my baby, wants to marry me, loves me more than anyone. The problem is her ex came back two months ago to see his daughter, he was unemployed and made no contact with his daughter for three years then on invite shows up and tells my girlfriend he wants to marry her and he is here to stay wether she likes it or not. My girlfriend told him to leave and he went to their 6 yr old daughter and told her he was leaving becuase mommy wanted him to and didnt want the family back together. My girlfriends duaghter was devistated. Her ex tried to kiss her, puts sexual pressure on her, tried to put his arm around her when thier in public, and i sit here knowing she is trapped possibly between the love of her daughter and the love of her life. Her ex has no job, nowhere to go and uses their daughter for leverage to stay living with her. He said if he left he would never see his daughter again because he would never be able to watch my girlfriend and I move on. All I feel i can do is walk away but as a single father I know the pressure she is feeling and the awful mess her ex is putting on the situation. Pleas Help.
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (4 December 2005):
 You need to kick this guy out on his ear... and then, just as a safety back- up, get a restraining order against him.That little girl will be better off without him in her life, he does not have her best interests at heart.
A
male
reader, DreamMaster  +, writes (3 December 2005):
 Hi,
Not a nice situation, I do sympathise.
Ok, lets get one fact right out there from the off
This guy does NOT care about the well being of this child.
This is obvious to me because he hasn’t seen the kid in 3 years, and has no ethical problems in hurting the daughter with the whole ‘told her he was leaving because mommy…’
What he IS doing is getting a free house to live in. I am stunned that this guy is allowed to live in the same house – GET HIM OUT!
When he says that if he did get booted out, he would never see his daughter again – this is because he does not care about the child – he is not here for the child – he is here to get a free place to live. If that is not happening, then he has no reason to hang around.
Ok, now that we know his intentions, we have to decide what to do.
I believe him when he says he will not be around if kicked out, but you quite simply cannot allow this kind of blackmail to rule your life.
You are then going to have to sit down and try to explain this to your 6 year old, possibly just explain that mommy and daddy are split up, and you will look after her and love her just as much as her first daddy (though we both know he doesn’t), but that the first daddy simply cannot live in the same house, because it is the second daddy that makes mommy happy and doesn’t she want mommy to be happy … something along them lines I guess. Oh, and tell the child that daddy is lying when he is.
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