A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Have a friend of mine, who has been dating a guy for the past one year. My friend has a baby but she is afraid to tell her boyfriend because it might ruin their relationship please give any suggestions to help. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all for your advices. Have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (16 December 2008):
 That's ok too! She is putting the child's best interest at heart perhaps. Sometimes one has to let their child or children stay somewhere other than with them in order to give the child what is best for the time.
If he can't accept her situation perhaps he isn't the one. If he is the one then perhaps he will be able to help her reunite with her child. Blessed are the children and THOSE who give them tender loving care.
Who knows it might be a match made IN HEAVEN.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthe child stays with her parents
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (15 December 2008):
You shouldn't tell him anything! That is up to your friend. However I think you should talk to your friend and try conviencing her that he needs to know. If this is a serious type of realationship eventually he WILL find out and it could cause big problems. If he knows up front he will be more likely to undertand instead of waiting and being hit by a bomb!
I am sure he might be upset when he first finds out but a good man would do his best to understand. If she explains that she was afraid to tell him hopefully he will be ok with things if the realtionship has already gone this far. A year is a long time to just throw away in an otherwise pretty stable relationship.
The longer she waits can make a big difference in how he views her *little secret. Not telling him straight out could cause some stress but let's be hopeful that he will understand and accept her decision to wait in telling him.
Remind your friend that Honesty is Alawys the Best Policy especially when it comes to one's children. The child the first one to consider and shouldn't be left out of the picture in hopes that it wouldn't affect the relationship negatively. If he accepts the child it indeed PAINTS A PRETTIER PICTURE! 8-) My best wishes to you and your friends.
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, samsmommy +, writes (15 December 2008):
 He's eventually going to find out, if they get married, and there is this random child running around that the guys never met before lol. But in all seriousness, I have a son, and everyone, not just guys, knows within the same day I meet them that I have a kid.
She needs to tell him, I'm shocked they've been together a year and he still doesn't know, has he never been to her house? or does the child not live with her? or are they just not that close? Either way, she should definitely tell him, and if he's okay with it, then great. If he's not, then it's better he found out now before the relationship got any more serious.
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A
female
reader, Ravenxx91  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 No matter what, if there relationship lasts then the true will come out no matter what. I would suggest to your friend to get things out of the open and follow the above suggestions as they are quite helpful.
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A
female
reader, SDJ +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Having a child is a very big thing to keep from someone, it's also very risky to lie about something like this. I think she really should tell him, if she tells the truth then he should understand if he's a decent boyfriend. If she's afraid to tell him then she could just say that she thought the idea of her having a kid would make him feel some-what uncomfortable or that she thought he'd feel uncomfortable by thinking that he'd have an added responsibility. Hope this helps :)
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female
reader, petina1 +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Sooner or later the 'truth will out'. If she intends on any future with this guy then the sooner she gets this out in the open the better. She could say that she hasnt mentioned it before because she didnt think that they were going to be together this long and didnt want her child to be meeting different father figures and now she knows what she wants she is prepared to let him meet her child. Like she has kept the information 'private' because she wanted to protect her child. In any case these things, the longer they are left the worse they get. Hopefully he has fallen deeply in love with her no matter what. I hope so. good luck
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