A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm writing because my head is so confused I don't know what is right or wrong any more. I've been with a guy now for 4 years living together and he's been fathering my 2 children, don't get me wrong he's a nice guy, good father to them but I've got one big issue with him, he's flirted, ie. chatted up several girls on the net which I found out he even had sex messages from one ex work mate which he strongly denies anything went on, I've seen pics on his laptop. I've contacted 2 girls who he claimed to them he was single. Recently he was on facebook I managed to get into his account and saw he had been talking to his ex after 10 years and was asking her out for a drink and lots more but I'll be here forever. When I confronted him he was begging me he was sorry he didn't want to, he loves me, all the sob stories, now telling me he wants us to get married, but how can I trust him if he's done all these things to me, he's even said I've never cheated on you but isn't all the things I've mentioned above some form of cheating? Can someone please give me some advice??
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facebook, flirt, his ex, the internet Reply to this Question
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male
reader, askJAY  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 what a pathetic man. sis. i wouldn't stick around.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): YES emmotional or physical any form that goes behind your partners back is still cheating, starts with flirting then talking, next emmotions, next kissing, next oral sex, next full intercourse, next broken hearts and loads of tears and pain sometimes suicide all for the sake of a bonk, not worth it when you look at stats is it, Real love means being with one person and one person only.
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A
female
reader, candy17 +, writes (15 December 2008):
 hi im not good at this but here gos
Maybe you could sit down and talk to him
and tale him how you really fill about all this sitchoashon.. and ask him why he is do it.
and you and him and ur kids could go to like a family activetey all to togevere.. so the might get him away from his laptop
I hope this Helps you
Seeya soon
Candice
X
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A
female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 He will eventually cheat it happens .. Starts off as a just a little harmless flirting so they think then it will go much further.. I would be very careful how far i fell for him and put my gaurds up and keep them that way I mean he probably cant be trusted........
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (15 December 2008):
 hes been talking to all these women on line and on facebook and even his ex. Ok so he says theres been no sex. I wonder how far the line he would have carried on before an 'offer' came up. Then what? Would he retract to them what he's been saying. I'm really sorry but I don't think so. If I even saw an incling of this with my partner I would kick his sorry arse out. If you can't then I would keep the internet within full view of you in the living room so that you can check up on him like you would a child, but thats the only thing you can do if you decide to keep him. He obviously has lots of spare time to be engaged in these harmful activities, get him to take the kids to the park or do other activities with you all as a family, there is obviously something missing in his life and you need to question that. hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, SDJ +, writes (15 December 2008):
 This sounds like my Mum and my Step-dad. A while ago we were about to type in a website and instead a dating website address came up which he'd obviously previously been on. We looked on his home page and he had uploaded his picture and everything so he had no room to lie or make any excuses. My Mum doesn't like him doing this but she trusts him enough to know that he wouldn't cheat, that doesn't mean she lets him do it though. I think part of the reason why he's doing this is because they haven't been having sex that regularly lately so he's looking for comfort elsewhere to chat to people and flirt etc. If you've been with him for 4 years I wouldn't let anything minor like this get in the way of anything. I don't think chatting other girls up is cheating, only physical contact. It looks to me as if he has a guilty conscience if he's just suddenly asked if you'll marry him, then again he might actually genuinly want to marry you so suddenly to prove how much he loves you or something. It's your choice.
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