A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My bf and I don’t live together but he comes to visit. We have been together over a year. He just came by and we were talking and my daughter called him stupid joking around and tapped his shoulder. He freaked out and was like do something about this now..I sent her in time out and told her not to call people stupid even jokingly. He then shoved my shoulder with a lot of force when she was in time out and said how would u like it if I had a kid and they did that to you? My shoulder was throbbing and I started to cry so he called me a sissy. I told him he didn’t need to do that that hard...he said I need to discipline my daughter more. And I told him I already took care of it and to let it go. I finally took my daughter to my mom’s house so I could sit down and talk to him. Then he started saying mean stuff to me. I finally had had enough and told him to leave and I wanted to end things because if he can’t handle my kid playing around then he isn’t for me. He then takes my step stool and throws it across the room. I told him to pick it up and he said no. I then said ok and took his bag of clothes and threw it down and said if u aren’t gonna pick my stuff up then there u go. He then takes my dining chair made of hard wood and throws it to the ground with a lot of force and it shatters in pieces. I started crying and told him I never wanted to see him again. He started crying and said he didn’t ever mean to do that...meanwhile im out of a chair. I made him leave and have no intentions of letting this guy around me again. He said I should know he has a bad temper and he just reacts that way. Do you think that any of this was necessary? I am pretty sure I made the right decision. Deleted his number and it’s his loss...any advice?...thanks Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 August 2010): You did the right thing!
Stay strong. You did the right thing not only for your daughter but also for yourself. A "bad temper" is no excuse for that sort of behaviour.
Like you said, it IS his loss. You can do better.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, Oregongrl1 +, writes (28 August 2010):
Iam so proud of you! you are not wrong at all he is abusive and w/ some men it doesn't start until later in a relationship! and it gets worse you made the right decision
and being a good mommy too! and they will tell you how sorry they are and buy you something nice and w/ him he will get your daughter something too to woo you over. i lived w/ one for many yrs it was horrible and yes it got worse i got out. i hope you do too!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Practical  +, writes (28 August 2010):
this guy is dangerous .. unless he gets serious professional help, do not let him in your life..
how would u like it if he broke your little girl's arm one or two years from now?
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (27 August 2010):
Losing your temper once over something is common. Sounds like he lost his temper two or three times. You're better off without him.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (27 August 2010):
 ''He said I should know he has a bad temper and he just reacts that way.''
Yep he has a bad temper but it does not give him an excuse to get violent. He broke your chair...blamed it on his temper, he shoved your shoulder...blamed it on his temper...the next time it could be your head. He also has no right to tell you you should discipline your child!!
His tears are manipulative, the next thing he will say is
'You made me do it!!'
He has issues, you need to let him know that he needs to seriously deal with them and prove he has before you let him near you again...better still...dont let him back in your life.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 August 2010):
 No physical violence is never necessary. I'm glad you got your daughter to the safety to your mother's house before he attempted to hurt her. Personally, the moment he shoved me I would've told him to get out or I'm going to call the police. At least he only broke the furniture and not any bones on you. Yes, you did the right decision by getting him out of your life, he could potentially cause physical harm to you and your daughter..You he already tried. God forbid if he ever tries to come around again, have the local authorities on speed dial.
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