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Help me..does it sound like he really likes me or is he playing/using me once again?

Tagged as: Dating, Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (30 December 2007) 5 Answers - (Newest, 1 January 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear cupid,

When I was 18 I really liked this boy a lot and we ended up having sex but then after we did have sex he ignored me and I noticed he flirted with another girl. Then some time after I found out I was pregnant I tried telling him but he just wouldn’t care, he didn’t even hear what I had to say. Well then one day I just asked him as a question that if he got a girl pregnant would he want the baby to be born or not well he said NO! I thought he would have said yes but I guess I was wrong, I noticed he used me because he must have got bored and couldn’t find anyway to sleep with (I was too dumb to notice what he was really like). But anyways I wanted to go ahead with the pregnancy, (because I didn’t want to give my baby the a punishment and not letting it born just because of me and her father) so I thought I should tell him I’m pregnant and want to keep it, and on the last day, the day before the holidays start I was waiting for to tell him before I go home but the girl he was flirting with was waiting to, I asked who she waiting for she said him and then I asked what for? She goes she is going to tell him that she likes him (by the way she was my friend kind off). Well after that I just never saw a point in telling him about the pregnancy, but I never stopped trying to get in contact and trying to tell him but he didn’t care or was to busy with his girlfriend (the one who he flirted with). Well now I’m 20 and yes I did go ahead with the pregnancy and have a little baby.

However a month and half ago he came back to me and well he wanted to talk to me, forget talking he was trying to hit on with me again, he tried kissing me but I told him to ‘F’ off. Well accidently it slipped out my mouth that ‘I wasn’t getting pregnant again with your baby’ that’s what I said to him and he was shocked. (That’s when he found out about the baby). Well he asked several question of why I never told him, why I went through with the pregnancy and etc… Ok so basically he asked to meet the baby, I allowed him to.

Then a month ago he asked me to move in with him, so I did but I told him by me letting him see the baby and me moving in with the baby in his house don’t mean I’m even thinking of getting back with him, he understood. He has taken full responsibility of the child and kind of me. (He is taking really good care of the baby, and is being nice to me).

2 weeks ago he took me on a date, I was going to say no for the date but then went along with it, well first we were going to leave the baby with a nanny or someone from my friends but I didn’t want to, I suggested she come with us on the date and he didn’t mind (when really he would disagree, we also have kissed only once since a month and half ago). Ok well basically he has totally changed, answers and things he does are really unexpected because when I knew him before he wouldn’t say or do anything that he does now, and then he was harsher. When we moved into his house it was so beautiful he had made a proper room for the baby girl (which he wouldn’t really do when he was 18). At night time when the baby woke up cried etc he’d wake up and take care of it. When the baby needs changing he’d do it.

On Christmas day he gave me a present which was a ring, the ring which I really wanted (but I don’t get how he knew the ring was what I wanted cause I never looked at that ring when he was around well actually before he came into my life again I chose out that ring and was going to buy it) Anyways this ring is like really nice I thought he’d just brought it as a Christmas present that its nothing else just to wear but he proposed to me and I can’t/couldn’t make up my mind of what to say YES or NO, he said there is no rush for my answer. I like him but the question is has he really changed or is this an act that he is playing (in my true opinion it don’t look like an act at all, it’s serious the way he acts about the baby and me, everything) I want to know is after reading everything above does it sound like he likes me or is he playing/using me once again?

View related questions: christmas, flirt, kissing, moved in

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A female reader, x-Happy-Feet-x United Kingdom +, writes (1 January 2008):

x-Happy-Feet-x agony auntwell tell him that

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2007):

ok well i love him, but not sure about marraige yet, i would feel more comfortable if i get married in a couple of years time when i finish studying

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A female reader, mama2three United States +, writes (31 December 2007):

mama2three agony auntIt really doesn't sound like he's using you, but I would be careful about the marriage thing. This is not something you should just jump into, marriage is a permanent thing! It sounds like he's owning up to his responsibilities as a dad, which is GREAT. I think you need to get to know him a bit better. I didn't see how long you've been seeing each other recently, but I would wait.

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A female reader, nikkij United Kingdom +, writes (31 December 2007):

nikkij agony auntI agree...it seems that he has matured a lot in the past two years...I would still think about it a while. Do you love him or want to marry him?

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A female reader, x-Happy-Feet-x United Kingdom +, writes (30 December 2007):

x-Happy-Feet-x agony auntright well i think you should think about your answer but i think he has matured and he seems to love you and your baby and i think everyone deserves a second chance he obviosly loves you because lets face it he bought you a ring let u move in he made a lovely room and hes makin a effort with you and the baby so i think he has matured and i think he has settled down and thought to himself that he loves you so i think you should be positive about this and actually start seeing him again properly hope this helps xx

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