A
male
age
41-50,
*aurusboy
writes:hi there, i just got dump by my girlfriend, after a 2 yrs relationship..well mostly its my fault, not that i cheat or an big major asshole phychopath but mostly i am way too busy workin and i dont put enough effort to spend time with her...and i start missing her important days such as her b day and stuff...so when we still dating and while i was away workin in different city, most of the time she start hang out with her friends..and to be honest i dont really like her ladies friends as most of them are skanks,and those skanks by now prob know that i dont like them also to begin with, now that we re broken up its really hard to get in touch with her as she hang out very often with those skanks friends of hers and , they got plenty guys to introduce to my x already... for fling or one nite stand i guess i make a mistake for not following the art of war..be close to your love ones be closer to your enemy... currently now i am trying to get her back through our mutual friends and her family but everytime they brought up my name , my ex will immediately drop the subject... we dont talk,sms,e mail or whatsoever..in fact there is one incident last week where our mutual friends threw a bday party in a club and then the moment she knows i am there she call up all her ladies skank friends to back her up, and told my buddies to kick me out out of the club or else the rest of em wont show up she mention stuff like she is not ready to see me or some bullcrap shit but i think its more of she worried i saw her with the new guys and i make get angry and get into a fight...jezz i ll never do that ..so stupid of me if i ever do that...tsk tsk but still anyway.. i got kicked out..tsk tsk i guess that bastard its not my friends anymore ..its just crazy its seems like i dont exist anymore and eventhough she admits to our mutual friends and her family that she is just busy working and not in relationship with anyone its a lie...cuz i saw so many picture of her drunks and doing stupid things on weekend basis..but i am not giving up on her...any tips though..we even talked about marriage and stuff before...gosh sometimes i wonder did she even have a heart to begin with....well i also know that by her knowing me with another girls will not makes her jealous at all so how ?someone pls do help me a way to win her over before she really ruin her life with alcohol poisoning and dirty one nite stand...
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drunk, jealous, my ex, one night stand Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (29 March 2010):
 You are welcome! I hope she see's the changes in you and will response favourably to your overtures.
There is no need to rush. Rome was not build in a day.
A
male
reader, taurusboy +, writes (29 March 2010):
taurusboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks many thanks ,to u Laura
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (29 March 2010):
My empathy's to your relationship troubles . Don't give up hope. You need to have faith that she will come around after you have proven to her that you will change for the better.
You need to prove your love to her not only by words but by actions to sway her.
Appearances can be deceptive. What you see is not what you get.Her external appearances or actions only masked what she feels inside. Like a big bully who acts tough but who has fears or is a chicken inside.
You should ask her to come out , meet and talk face to face. Apologize to her if you were wrong. Give her a bouquet of flowers to go along with the apology.
If she won't talk to you , ask her friends or your friends help to talk to her to arrange the meeting.
Ask her what is her terms and conditions and try to agree with her .Bend as far back as you can.Tell her that you love her.
That is the most important message you must give her. She needs to know if you really love her.
In every thing you do , tell her that you love her and nobody else.You must get that important message through to her.
Tell her you realized your mistakes and will correct them and asked her for another chance.
Don't hit on her friends. Be friends with them even if you feel they are like skanks.Refrain from criticizing about her friends.
If you judge her friends , you are judging her and her intelligence.
Really listen to what she has to tell or say to you and do what she says .
Don't let your imaginations run riot. She may not have one night stands.
She is hanging out mostly with her friends because she wants to escape from the pains of your breakups.
Give her sometime and when she is rational again , communicate with her through the phone , email or text.
When a thing is no more ,then only will you realize it's worth.
Don't give up easily. Only born losers will walk away .You can never win a war if you have no heart or only half hearted to fight in a battle.
Have courage and be strong . Your separations is only temporary and events can be fluid and can change any moment.
Nothing is ever cast in stones. Think more positive and don't listen to negatives vibes.
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A
male
reader, taurusboy +, writes (29 March 2010):
taurusboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for those who gave me some input..any more people?
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A
female
reader, jada101  +, writes (27 March 2010):
 Well if you think that it will work then try to talk to her stop by the cafe and talk to her but try to stop by at a time that you think she might be by her self but it looks like she doesn't want it to work out
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A
male
reader, taurusboy +, writes (26 March 2010):
taurusboy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell the reason why i want her back is that because i love her,and we did have some similar hobby and some totally different opposite so its sort off similar and opposite attract too..and yes i am willing to change
( yeah prob many people believe this is a bullchit as everyone said this word when they got dump)but i meant what i said.. and no i am not stalking her, it was a mutual friend s party i was invited, if i am a stalker i ll prob be in her aprtment days and night as i have keys to her place still and her workin place and all, and we have our own cafe that we open together, she is kicking me out from there and she ll pay me back all money and investment that ive thrown into the cafe, since she haven do so yet technically i am still part owner and i can be there 24 7..but no idid not do that i still giving her space...what i cant take is that i know out there there are many may men who did more messed up thing and yet their forgiven..so yeah i dont think i am giving up on it..she is the one who dump me but she i sthe one who are crying like crazy..now i am wondering was it just an act or real...if its hurt her so much why don she gave it another chance..?
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A
female
reader, Rosy  +, writes (25 March 2010):
Why dont u leave her alone? Not once have u mentioned y u want her back or her good points u just went on about her friends and her having 1 night stands. She chose to not be with u anymore, wont listen to anyone when they bring ur name up so stop it! And y do u go to places where she is? its almost stalkerish! She doesnt want u, leave her alone! And if she cooses to have a one night stand or a fling its upto her! If u really wanted her so much u would have a made an effort while u were still in a rship. Its gone, its over, leave it!
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