A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:hey guys :]well im in a pickle at the moment,basically i have fallen out with my best friend of 3 years,she started to date a boy i really hate, and a few days ago i had a fight with him. suddenly after that she told the school about it and says she doesn't want to be my friend any more? every time i try to call her she ignores my calls but i really need to speak to her. i spoke to her at school, she said that she still liked me and hugged me? the next thing i know im in my year office being told that she's not sure if she wants to be friends? i really need ways to talk to her and what to say to her so we can be friends again, i really need help. please please please help me! :(
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou so much for these answers. they are really helpful and yes you guys are right, buts its really hard just to leave her. inside i feel i should hate her for telling on me and my heart just wont let me, i really want her back again :/ but thankyou so far! keep up the brilliant work guys :)
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Teenage romance tends to last about five minutes. At the end of this, she will learn a lesson about the value of friendship. She will come back and should apologise to you. You cannot make her be your friend. If she is superficial enough to ditch her mate for a boy then the friendship wasn't going to last anyway. Just sit back and wait. Don't beg for her friendship. It is up to her to decide. Hopefully she will wise up and make the right decision!
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A
male
reader, dirtball  +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Walk away. She'll be back crying on your shoulder when this boy breaks her heart. You just need to give her space for now.
Write he a note that says, "I'll always be your friend. I know you are upset with me right now so I'm going to give you the space you want. Know that you can always come to me if you need anything. I hope you'll always remember our friendship."
She's not going to hear logic or reason right now. All that matters to her is her BF. She's blinded so there's nothing you can do. It sucks, but that's part of growing up. This will pass.
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A
female
reader, harleygirl2010 +, writes (17 December 2010):
 Oh man i'm sorry to hear about that. I had something like that happen to me two years ago. My friend started dating this guy that no one liked. He lied about everything. Even tried to say that i tried to run him over while he was walking in a ditch. Right like my car is big enough for that. Any way she quite talking to me and i couldn't handle it. We recently just started talking. It turned out that when me or my other friend tried to talk to her, if her bf was around, she wouldn't hear what we were saying. It was like he was a shield that was blocking our words to her. It was bad, but it seems to be getting better. I would say try to get her alone somewhere. Like go to a park or shopping area where it is only you two and talk about it. Figure out what is going in her head. Just talk and hang out. I hope this helps you.
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A
female
reader, ajv29  +, writes (17 December 2010):
first of all, friendships are much more likely to last longer than a relationship that has been going on for about 5 minutes. she'll wake up and see sense that you probably mean more to her than the boy does! even if this doesn't happen, still keep trying to talk to her as it'll make her realise how strong your friendship is. perhaps text her or e-mail her telling her how you feel about everything that has happened. i'm sure that in time, things will work themselves out and the pair of you will look back and laugh at it!
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (17 December 2010):
Life can be a bit tough at your age when it comes to guys and friendships. I think if you dislike this boy you should keep it more to yourself, as you are causing her to chose between your friendship and him. If you can be a good friend to her, and if things don't work out with this boy (which - they probably won't) then you will be her mate to be there for her when she needs you.
Don't let a boy get in the way of a 3 year friendship.. be her friend and be there for when she needs you and I'm sure your friendship will last indefinitely.
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