A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been a regular patron of a lounge in my area for about 5 years now. In the past I have casually dated a few men I've met there, however try to keep things just friendly as I don't want my life to play out like a bad season of "Cheers" lol. Recently I've developed feelings for a man, we'll call him Charlie, who I've gotten to know a bit over these years. He's a fun and smart guy and I've always found him to be attractive. We aren't all that close and I feel very intimidated by him if we are chatting and it turns into flirting. I'm completely freaked out and scared to give him any inkling that I'm interested in him...Not sure if I'm afraid he'll reject me and I'll see him next time around at the lounge, or if I'm just afraid of something else, don't know what it is. How do I at least keep my cool around this guy and not make an ass of myself? I'm insanely unnerved by all this, and it's feels so sudden that I've taken such a liking to him...we even exchanged numbers a few weeks ago for the first time. It only took 5 years, but hey...lol. can you all tell I turn into a bumbling idiot whenever I even think about him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe had a fab time! going out again soon! kinda told him i like him, lots of compliments were said about each other from both of us. I'm just making sure I don't screw up and lose a great guy friend in the process of exploring this. thanks to everyone for the pep talks
A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (8 December 2007):
 Simply be yourself. If you try to hide your usual personality and act different, it will make him feel awkward and maybe not enjoy the night as much. He accepted to go out with you on two occasions so this is a big step. IT means he is feeling comfortable around you to make plans with you. Be yourself and enjoy the night. He wouldve never accepted to go out with you if he felt that you were wierd and obnoxious. Have fun!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOkay so I did it. Sort of. Yikes!
I asked him if he wanted to see a movie that is coming out soon with me, and he said sure. It's not out yet though, and today I had a friend bail out on me for plans this weekend and needed a 'date' so I asked him and he said sure. I'm SO nervous! It's a company party so all of my co-workers will be there and it's dressy so I get a chance to dress up, which for work is normal. Usually when I see this guy though it's just jeans and casual stuff, so I have the opportunity to "show off what I got" lol. Trying to make the best use of it. Any advice anyone might have to keep me from making a fool of myself would be fantastic! Thanks again!
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I've not had this problem in years! It's reassuring to hear something from someone that feeling nervous at my age isn't me being an ass lol! I'm gonna take some deep breaths and dive in!
confidence!
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A
female
reader, bqagirl2692 +, writes (4 December 2007):
Well you've known this guy for quite a while so maybe its time that you take it up a step. Your being sort of shy but thats ok. Its normal for us to feel this way when we are companied by a person we are very interested in. You'll never know where this may lead unless you be the bigger person here and try to take this forward yourself. Someone has to bust the first move. Im not going to say you act like an "ass"..lol.. but i will say that you may think you act sorta uneasy around him because you are holding all these feeling you have for him inside. Maybe its time you burst that bubble of yours. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, -Colour-Me-Sober-  +, writes (4 December 2007):
 I reckon you should go for it and ask him for a date.It's okay to feel nervous when you're around him and you might even feel silly if you ask him but what's the worse that can happen?Give him a call and arrange a night out, hopefully then you'll feel more comfortable to tell him how you feel. Just play it cool and when you think you can tell him, go for it.Good Luck xx
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