A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I never doubted for one second that my boyfriend is not telling me the truth, I always believed in him, in us, I look up to him, I trust him and I respect him. He says we fit together and he is right, we do fit together. He says he loves me, he said that he never had a successful relationship with a woman until he met me and he said he wants to marry me. He is divorced but he never talks about his ex which is something I like about him.The last couple of months were tough for me. I am suffering for not seeing him and for not being with him.I started doubting that he might not be as honest with me as I believe.To make a long story short my boyfriend and I live in two different countries. The first 2 years we spent lots of time together. I need about 2 hours flight to go and visit him. I am the one doing the travel, I don't mind it at all, he says he can't come see me, he needs a permision from the army. The first 2 years we spent almost every other weekend together, in the 2 years after, we've spent only 1 SINGLE WEEKEND together, I still was fine with that keeping in mind how busy his schedule is. This year we haven't seen each other AT ALL. He used to call me and he used to email me a lot more. He says he miss me and that he looks forward to see me SOON. But I don't know when soon is?He knows how much I love him and how devoted I am to him. He never tells me for how long we will stay apart? I feel bad about myself just asking this question and just doubting about what he says. But I really miss him and I don't know what to do.Everybody around me finds me wrong to waste long years of my life waiting for him, keeping in touch with him and worrying about him if he sometimes don't email me 2-3 weeks. I LOVE HIM. I TRULY DO. Can someone possibly be deployed to war 3 full years? and why some men make huge effort at the beginning of a relationship and then not anymore. Am I doing anything wrong?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 December 2007): Thanks KittenMagic, I really appreciate your reply. I understand how important his career for him is and I really don't mind to wait for him and also support him. But what's bothering me is, he refuses to till me even roughly for how long before I can see him again. Am I asking for too much.
A
female
reader, KittenMagic  +, writes (3 December 2007):
 My boyfriend is in the army, but not currently at war, but i can understand how hard it must be.You say you've not seen him this year? And are keeping in touch via emails? Personally, i can't see how this can work. This is just my opinion, but from past experiences, long distance relationships like this don't work very well. The time apart and the distance apart, will also make you two fall further apart, and will bring uncertanties into both your minds - he may be feeling the exact same way about you.Hun, you're not doing anything wrong, please don't think this, often i find that guys stop making the effort once they've 'got you', but i'm sure that goes for females too.I do think that you need to look at your relationship seriously now, the most important thing in his life right now is his career, maybe he's not ready t settle down properly, especially as he's never made the effort to come see you. This isn't a bad thing, you can support him through this, and it must be especially hard for him if he has been on duty for such a long while, although i'm not sure if someone can be deployed for 3 years or not. I come from a military family, but it's the RAF so i will ask my boyfriend.But utimately, i think you need to listen to the people who know you best, Stop worrying about him and enjoy your life! You're still young, go out clubbing or to a party and enjoy yourself without thinking about him. Hopefully soon you'll be able to meet someone who is as dedicated to you as you are to them.Good luck hun, please let me know how it turns out
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