| A
male
,
anonymous
writes: Dear Cupid,I have problems controlling my sexual desires in public. I sometimes get an erection even when i am talking to a girl at work place. I look out for opportunities to flirt at work and try to build some sort of connection like what you generally do with your gf. And this is a general problem, whenever in public, i look out for opportunities to flirt or romance. Sometimes, girls do respond and enjoy it themselves as well. This encourages me to keep repeating this things. But at times, especially when i am at work, i forget that i am at work and start feeling that i am socializing. This is quite harmful as my bosses and other colleagues notice that i am not at all serious and hence they try to keep an eye on me all the time. It is as simple as this, whenever i am in female presence, i start behaving weirdly. I am 24 and For the moment, i don't have a gf. and i don't think i get enough time for that as i have career issues. Any advice pls?
View related questions:
at work, erection, flirt, girl at work, my boss Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2005): You need to make a clear distinction between your working life and your personal life here. If you don't, you risk losing your job and you need to protect yourself.
Treating colleagues as friends—often leads to disastrous consequences, so exercise plenty of common sense and caution. Curb the flirting, guy because sexual harassment is a prime example of the hot water you could get yourself into. Some women may not take kindly to your seemingly innocent flirting. If you flirt with somebody outside your workplace, say at a party, that person can't have you arrested. But if you flirt at the office, it could cost you your job and some hefty legal bills. Flirting at work has always been unmannerly and unprofessional. So many people don't care about work etiquette anymore. So much so, the laws have been stepped up a notch to make the flirts obey and stop the flirting. At one time, an office flirt was once just considered a cad. Now someone who misunderstands the limits of office friendship like yourself, could become a criminal with a record (re: sexual harrassment).
Setting formal limits to your social behaviors at work will reduce the chance of conflict from your bosses and other co-workers. Rules are rules at work. They are in place for a very good reason. Boundries and limits like this are needed to keep people from upsetting one another unnecessarily in the workplace and to keep people focused on their jobs.
So, behave yourself at work...keep your bosses happy and save all your "socializing and flirting" for strictly after hours. Stay professional and stay focused on getting the job done. Good luck
Hugs,
Irish
A
male
reader, feelingood +, writes (8 September 2005):
Both the responses already up talk about improving your out-of-work life but if you improve your social life, the behaviours you have problems with now, probably won't just 'stop'. They have been practiced every day for a while now, so you probably should go to see a qualified psychologist who can give you some help with your behavioural issues. Other than that, you say that you start behaving weirdly whenever you're in female presence. Why? When you see a female, before you even open your mouth, take a step back from the situation and practice NOT flirting with her. After a while you will see that it is possible to have a conversation with a woman without flirting and you'll be able to turn your flirting "on" and "off" when you want to. Good luck man, and loosen up a little with all the hard work. Make sure you get to go out now and then and enjoy yourself. Take care and all the best.
...............................
A
reader, Rebecca Batchelor +, writes (8 September 2005):
 It is okay to flirt and be friendly but not to the point that it interferes with your life and work. Perhaps some girls won't take you too seriously because you are an irrepressible flirt.
Take a step back and think about your goals. Okay, you have career issues but the fact that you sometimes feel that work is like a social environment indicates you have a need for a social life. Make time for one; it will aid your relaxation and allow you to make new friendships and relationships.
Then when you go to work you will more so recognise that work is for just that; work. It's okay to have a bit of fun but to not go over the top.
Try thinking about incorporating a social life into your busy schedule. It is essential for you to do so. You are more likely to meet the right person if you do.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Delila +, writes (8 September 2005):
You need to sort out your priorities, it seems as if you are not really focusing on your work as it is now, maybe if you got a steady girlfriend you would be able to satisfy your normal male desires while outside of work hours and then put your head down and work hard while at the office.
...............................
|
