A
female
age
41-50,
*f0404
writes:I am interested in a guy I have spoken to several times at a local bar. But I can't determine if he is interested or just being nice. Last week for the first time I think I got the hint that he is interested. Before leaving last week he even made sure I would be at the bar again this sunday and showed up. Unfortunatly unlike last week, I was forced to sit away from him but that didn't deter him, he approached me several times to chit-chat, something he hasn't done in the past. During our talks he mentioned, casually that he is seeing someone, and he is taking her to an event that is kind of far from home, BUT that he will have to be careful when drinking because she is not "hotel ready" so he didn't get a room because he didn't want to lead her on. Please someone help me know what in the world he is saying here? And why is he telling me this, I don't know him THAT well. What should have been my response. So confused.... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, boo22  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 hi there, yes, i feel the door is open for you if you wanna walk through,but be prepared to have the same done to you by this guy. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): it means he's interested and he's open to something with u BUT he's keeping his options open. (some) guys don't go 'exclusive' until we have a conversation later and in the meantime these guys feel ok with dating others. he also wants u to make a move on him (or not) as he's being casz so far. make sense? PS i'm just explaining - not justifying.
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A
male
reader, Austinalive +, writes (10 November 2008):
Just to clarify: going to a hotel doesn't mean a serious relationship. Most of the times it's all against. So not taking her to a hotel coul mean something serious.
Do you know what's the easiest way to know? ask him.
good luck
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (10 November 2008):
 It sounds to me like he wants his cake and eat it, If he is interested then he should not be giving this other girl the wrong impression going away with her...Making you think! I would be concerned of the fact that if he can do this while he is seeing someone would he do it if you two started seeing each other with some other girl. And if so would you be happy with this hunny XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
female
reader, Tf0404 +, writes (10 November 2008):
Tf0404 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUPDATE!!! CLARIFICATION!!
I think I should clarify because I don't think that he as insulting me, he didn't ask me to meet up with him later at a hotel room or anything like that. This girl is a girl that he is SEEING, he never used the term girlfriend at all. What I am trying to figure out is if by telling me that their not "hotel ready" he is saying that it isn't serious or is in the "newer stages" of the relationship. And if so, is this his off-handed way of telling me the door is open because he isn't sure that it is going to last. That is what is perplexing because I can't figure out any other reason why he would share this information with me.
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A
male
reader, Adey +, writes (10 November 2008):
The fact that you are asking means he probably isn't interested in a relationship - just sex. The fact he is telling you about other women confirms that you are not the centre of his attention - so if that's what you're happy with I would say just ask him for sex and enjoy him with no strings attached. I'm guessing that probably isn't what you want.
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A
male
reader, SIFI212 +, writes (10 November 2008):
I know im a young guy and my answer to this may be naive, but i think i may be able to "decode" his actions as you ask.
It would seem to me that he IS interested in you as he has made an effort to come over and talk to you, something guys only do when they are interested, trust me
As for mentioning this other girl, my feeling is that its an attempt to make you jealous. Guys often do this, including myself. When there is a girl he likes, if something doesnt happen immediately they will often try and refer to other girls, to act as though they arnt interested when really they are, and you say he did it casually which implies he wants you to know but no to a great extent. The reason behing a guy doing this is to try and get the girls feelings out there and heighten them as much as possible, and to try and help the girl think they might have to "fight" for him, its a pleasure that most guys like, as it makes it alot easier for them.
Hope this helps. :)
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A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (10 November 2008):
Hi Hun
From your post I get yea he may be interested, To cheat..His g/f isn't hotel ready means they are not sleeping together, And if he drinks to much he may come on a little heavy..Bit weird if you ask me love..He may very well be needing sex and may be trying to lead you on..Cant be a 100% but Id think this was a tad weird love..Sorry if I upset you, Maybe other aunts have a different view point..TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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