A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is not interested in sex with me. I feel like I'm constantly pressuring him into it all the time, then I don't enjoy it, but I have a really high sex drive!!! I'm 19 and he's 28.This causes more problems because he's had so many one night stands. How can he enjoy sex with some slag and not the woman he loves? I just don't get it. Is it because he's under no pressure with them because he doesn't care whether they enjoy it or not? Is it because it's more exciting? I don't understand him at all, I couldn't bear simply 'having sex' with someone since I've 'made love', it just wouldn't be the same.I've been telling myself it's because of his stress and work and stuff but it's really getting to me now. I've lost all my confidence about my performance and my body and . . . just me really!!! He's so lovely most of the time but he'd rather have a one night stand than sleep with me, what's going on with him?
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confidence, not interested in sex, one night stand, sex drive Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2007): he's not committed to marriage.. not love. he needs help.
sooner or later, he will bring you a "gift" from one of his
one nighters. idon't mean it will be wrapped either.
A
male
reader, twiltan +, writes (6 June 2006):
Ok ive just re-read this post, it seems he may be having1 night stands while actually in the relationship.If this is the case, i apologise for previous comments, the answer is simple: just get rid of him.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (5 June 2006):
 How do you know he's having one night stands, does he come home and tell you? If you know for sure this is a fact what on earth makes you think he loves you? Sorry he would not behave in such a way if he did, and anyhow even if he does love you in some way why on earth would you accept him sleeping with these woman, have you never heard of STD's? No man is worth endangering your own health for, and I'm wondering why you're still with him? Give up on him and find someone who is interested in you and doesn't drop his pants for anyone but you!
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (5 June 2006):
 HEY there
Sweetie whats wrong with this picture? if YOU are not enjoying the sexual side of things and HE is causing you to doubt your own self confidense and body image and proformance in the bedroom then why are you still with him? he obviously has no regard for you or how your feeling about things or he would make the effort to make you feel better about yourself not worse?
to quote madonna
"YOU DESERVE THE BEST IN LIFE SO IF HE'S NOT DOING THIS FOR YOU MOVE ON". "2ND BEST IS NEVER ENOUGH YOU'D DO MUCH BETTER HONEY ON YOUR OWN"
If he can't enjoy whjat you two have together sweetie and compliment you and treat you with love and respect.... GET OUT, find someone who will!!!! life is to short to waste it being unhappy with this guy
I hope my advise helped you a little, Good luck sweetie, if you ever wanna talk or just more advise feel free to email me i'm always here for you ok would love to hear from you again
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
male
reader, twiltan +, writes (5 June 2006):
Id like to politely disagree with the above poster.Firstly im assuming he isnt having 1 night stands now!.There are a number of reasons that your BF could have lost his drive.Firstly he could have developed physical problems, lower testosterone etc which a doctors visit could check. A highdrive in the past doesnt mean it isnt possible.He could be having concerns about his ability to perform, a lot of it is psychological for men, if he feels 'pressured' then it will lower his drive even further.He could be unhappy with some aspects of lovemaking, feel things are 'stale' etc. You say he is lovely to you, i suspect he loves you and it isnt 'you' he doesnt want sex withFirst thing to do, is talk to him in a none-agressive, none accusationary way, assure him you love him, communicate!.If its confidence, you could suggest stuff which gives no pressure on him to perform, massages, mutual oral etc.If he feels theres a routine now then perhaps try to spice things up, uniforms, going back to 'dating', turning up at his house in nothing but a coat and stockings etc etc.Anyway i hope you get it sorted. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, smeedle +, writes (5 June 2006):
 Wake up, he does not love you, he is better as history.
I am pressuming that he had the one night stands before he met you, if he has been having them whilst with you then why is he not history now.
If they were before you then that is in the past, just sounds to me like you want more sex and he wants less, he wants it with strangers when he has the urge, you want it with a lover.
Too much of a difference so you just need to accept that it is better to be apart, nothing will change.
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