A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have been in a relationship (with a mini-break 2 years ago) for 6 years and I love him dearly. I get really frustrated that he wont move forward and commit (ie live together properly) and I voice this to him occasionally. He simply answers he's not sure and just needs more happy times. Slight complications: we work together, I have a child, we are no spring chickens (40). We are 'on a break' but I miss him badly. He wants to 'date' again! What do I do?
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 May 2011):
 You want commitment, he doesn't. There are two ways to go...either give it up and find someone who does want commitment or put up with what he wants forevermore.
You are, on the point of commitment, incompatible, you cant change his mind and he cant change yours... this could go on for another 6 years...another 10 years...another 20 years.
Ask yourself what your boundary is, ask yourself what you are prepared to accept.
This non commitment thing for him isnt a phase or a period of indecision...it's a lifestyle choice that has endured for 6 years...he won't change...so what are you gonna do?
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 Tell him that if wants more happy times, he could go check a bar at happy hour, they'll give him two Margaritas for the price of one.This guy is stringing you along and has no intention to get closer or to live with you. Oh come on, he had 6 years to get to know you !, and he is 40 ,not 20 ! I think he just has no heart to tell you : forget it, it's not gonna happen.
What to do it's up to you , either you can be content with forever dating ( and why not ?, it's a solution that would appeal to many mature ladies who got used to live on their own )... or else, you give him his walking papers.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (7 May 2011):
 This guy has no intention of ever moving the relationship forward. He's just having fun and dating. If you want a real commitment you need to find another guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2011): Logically? Break things off. If you're ready and he's not on the same page as you, in the long run your relationship will continue to suffer because you could end up having different relationship goals. In other words, its a risk being with him and if settling down is what you're seeking then Id question the relationship definitely. Best on this.
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