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female
,
anonymous
writes: I had dated my ex-boyfriend for about a year and a half. The last four months of our relationship we were both miserable and decided we needed to take a break. We broke off the relationship but still were "hooking up" once a week or so. He constantly told me how much he missed me, but did make me aware that our relationship was just not meant to be, but the casual sex was good. For the last two and a half months he has called and emailed to see how things were going, and occassionally stop over at my place or I would pay him a visit if I saw his car out front. According to him he had been out on a couple of dates, but that was about it... I just recently found out that he has been dating someone and is in a serious relationship, they tell each other they love each other, etc. etc. I found out he had been sleeping with her while he was "hooking up" with me. I'm not sure how to end this ordeal, the sex is great, but obviously he has no respect or appreciation for me, I know his new GF that he has been seeing, is it my place to intervene, or do I just drop the whole scenario? and how do I react when I see him next, do I have the right to treat him like complete shit.... only thing is he has a good position which could help me in getting the job of my choice when I get out of school??????? I just don't know.
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female
reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (16 January 2006):
 Sweetie,
You have to teel this guy to walk out of the door and dont let it hit him on the way out cause you dont need him. Dont worry about job oppurtunities, you can always find a job but you do not need him.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): I have no idea why you would want this man in your life. He's already casued enough emotional mayhem & pain in your life. He is an uncommitted self-centered boor. Don’t waste more time on him. Freeing yourself from this guy, to go find another nice man who will truly love and accept you just the way you are, is likely the most self-respectable thing you can do for 'you'.
For us women, it is so hard to close one's heart and mind when we've been open to someone. You gave more than your body to this guy but you also handed your heart over to him. He knew this and he took full advantage. So how do you react next time you see him? You tell him what you know...and you dump him. Believe me, this may not feel like it right now but dumping this jerk today could just be the luckiest day of your life. As for your job prospects-is your self-respect worth compromising, just to keep being his bootycall? That's just further giving this cad a position of power/control in this triangle. That a huge price to pay. I don't know about you, but getting a job on my own merits, based on my own skills and what I would have to offer a prospective employer just seems to be the more honorable route to go. As for his gf, the immediate 'problem' is that he's cheating on her with you-having sex with two people and exposing everyone involved, to potential risk of std's/infections is not a nice prospect for any innocent, unaware girlfriend. There may be confusion, self-doubts, denial, pain and humiliation for her, as well, when all this is discovered but you have no real choice but to speak up. I don't care how you do it, e-mail, phone, face to face but it needs to be done. Remember, she will be hurt so take heed to treat her emotions with respect and tenderness. It's not her fault that he's a moral zero..she's an innocent bystander who just 'picked the wrong guy' to bring into her life. She will heal...just like you but it will take time. Good luck dear and I wish you the best
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A
female
reader, StarNews +, writes (16 January 2006):
 Sounds to me that this guy is the first living heart donor.
There is nothing to gain by telling his girlfriend what he has done to you and to her. This is something she will have to learn on her own, and in time, she will.
I went thru something similar and I felt like a fool. It made me wonder if he was faithful to me while we were together. I never totally trusted him, so he probably cheated on me too.
I think its best to not burn your bridges. It is in your best interest to lose all contact with him. Telling him off will do you no good, and it won't make you feel any better. It makes you the better person by walking away.
If he is capable of cheating, then he has no regards for anyone's feelings, but his own sexual gratification. This type of person never believes they are doing anything wrong. I think they get a thrill out of fooling people.
His deceitful ways will eventually catch up to him. So let him dig his own grave. In time, you will be glad that he is out of your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): Girlfriend!
Drop this "dawg!"
He has is cake and is eating it two!
Don't ever play second best to know one..you are worth so much more than that!! If you ended the relationship that means it was completely done! Sex included. You should of walked away being friends! Do you enjoy being his playtoy on the side? NOT. This guy is a player!!
Get rid of the sh*t on the bottom of your shoe!
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (16 January 2006):
 You're right. He doesn't have any respect for you. You have every right to treat him like complete shit, and to tell his girlfriend (do her a favor!), if you wish.
Now have some self-respect, and end this affair! He is just using you for sex. You can find a good job on your own when you get out of school. You don't want to be known as the "girl who got the job just because she slept with the guy in the good position" if word gets around, now do you?
Best of luck.
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