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female
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anonymous
writes: My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years kissed another girl (with tongues)the other day, he found out in the morning that his uncle had died and he says he was upset, so he went with this girl we both know to a coffee shop where they chatted for a bit before kissing and continued to chat after the event. He told me that she said to him she had always liked him and she is a very attractive girl. I am crushed, i feel he has cheated on me. Would you class this as cheating? Do we have a future? How do i get over me feelings of hurt and anger?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): And I need to ask... why he didn't come to you for support? I concur with all the below advice. And as for cheating-a broad rule of thumb is anything that one is doing with someone with the opposite sex, that comprises sexual contact is cheating. French kissing falls into that category, dear. This comes down to a matter of integrity on his part. This behaviour should be telling you, he has questionable character traits and it's possible, he could do this again. What kind of guy uses the excuse of "someone's death"- to gain the sympathy of another girl, so he can 'tongue her'! Sheesh! That's pretty low, on the humanity scale. How do you get over the hurt..keep telling yourself-you are not losing much here and that you deserve much, much better. I am sorry he did this to you. Just don't allow the self-doubts to get at you..be strong and never permit this again in a love relationship. Take care
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2006): Theres never any excuse to go with someone else...I mean whats he gona do next time hes up-set?
Talk to him seriosly about that kiss and that will tell u weather or not U two have a future.
Best wishes x
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A
female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (16 January 2006):
 I'm sorry sweetie, but this is definitely not an excuse to be kissing any other women. I agree with purrfectionist. He should've went to you before her about his uncle's death. It's wrong of him to be using this death as an excuse for kissing someone. It's even worse he finds this lady attractive. If he really loved you, he wouldn't put himself in any situation that would give him a chance to do such a thing.
He may be upset about his uncle, but he should be consoling his feelings with you and not her. Don't let him do this to you and get away with it.
I'm pretty sure you can find someone better than this. You don't have to deal with someone like this. Ask him what his deal is and what makes him think it's ok to do what he has done? Ask him how he would feel if he was put into your shoes about this situation and see what he thinks.
Good Luck!
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A
female
reader, purrfectionist84 +, writes (16 January 2006):
 Why didn't he turn to you when his uncle died, instead of going out and frenching another girl?! It sounds to me like he is just using the death of his uncle as an excuse to make you feel sorry for him and forgive him for acting on his attraction to this other girl.
I would agree that he has cheated on you. You're not in an open relationship; he shouldn't be making out with other girls.
He has already admitted that he finds her attractive, and that they have a mutual liking for each other. This could be a bad sign as far as the future of your relationship with him is concerned. He might be looking to break things off with you, or to keep seeing this other girl behind your back. The only way you'll know is if you ask him, and demand an honest response. Otherwise, the insecurity and doubt are just going to make you feel hurt and angry time and time again.
You deserve better. Don't allow him to treat you like this.
Best wishes.
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