A
female
age
41-50,
*arahkelly
writes:My ex broke off with me last year and even after the break, we still maintained contact. On my part of course I am partly to blame for allowing him to call. It was very difficult for me, as that break meant that my dream of spending the rest of our lives together, doing the simple things together, is gone. I am 34, and feeling the need in me to want to settle down, but I never gave him pressure. These past few weeks I've not calling but rather let him called. And then gradually not picking up calls. It hurts so much to see his name on the phone and put the phone away, letting it ring. If we want to stay friends, then I cannot love him the way I loved him. Please someone out there, tell me this will pass, that the torn feeling will go away even though I'm such a soft hearted person. thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, SillyB  +, writes (19 March 2011):
 You're only preventing yourself from emotionally moving on. You need to change your phone number hun. You need all contact severed in order to move on. Like you said you're 34, you don't have time to play around. Time to start dating lots and finding someone who has good intentions and wants the same things you do.
A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (19 March 2011):
 What you are going through is very very difficult. I wouldn't recommend staying friends if you still love him. No contact really is the best way. As much as it hurts, I think you are doing the right thing by letting things end. Its like having a cut..do you peel the band aid off slowly? Or just rip it off and get it over with?
My guy basically ended things after 8 years, asked me to move out, and yet still swears he loves me and calls me every day. Rather than being brave and saying "Good bye,its over". I have allowed him to stay in my life. And its the most hurtful painful experience I've ever had. Please don't do what I have done. Say goodbye, and walk away. Do not force yourself to go through the agony of trying to stay friends. Some people are ok with being friends, most people find it too difficult. No contact allows you to grieve,accept that its over and eventually move on. Staying in contact just continues to bring on pain.
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