A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and my boyfriend are 3 and a half years apart. he asked me if he proposed to me what would i say? (he is older) so i said of course i would say yes. and he said he can't wait till he can do it infront of everyone! im really nervous. i dont know when he is going to. im kind of excited and nervous. so should i be happy he wants to do it infront of everyone? or what? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Xgenangel  +, writes (18 January 2012):
I am concerned that you at such a young age, may be unsure of yourself and at this time in your life what is out there that could be opportunities you may not get to experience. Being in a marriage is a partnership and knowing that I would encourage you to have a long engagement period ( having already said yes to his offer of the two of you marrying) while this my personal opion often we seek the advice of those we have trust ie; parents, older siblings friends, etc. or simply you believe it to be what everyone wants or expects you to do and maybe go with the the acceptance of popular and we make a choice that maybe right - in the moment- but might not be best as you continue to mature as independant spirit in a team of two. I would suggest you as a couple outline some goals or projects, something where you have to work both indepently and together that includes both personalty traits, interests and skill sets... See how well you work, teach and learn from each other, make note of where you are in perfect time and where you are in a moments of fighting against it. Make your wedding planning a series of "Life Happens" obsticle course of sorts up to your big day! Make it fun adventerous and hard...for both of you, seek a nuetral party to be your ref of the life you want for each other, someone or somones, that can help you as a unified couple working as a home team rather as is common leader and follow... Humans are all one of a kind and that should never be compromised. This ref can help each of you overcome obstacles, faults, insecurities and the list goes on, but before they lead to misunderstandings, confusion or mistrust and not communicating truthfully about every part of life - resentment, hurt and isolation will untimately make for failure. Because life gets hard after the "Bride to be" excitement fades and life with this man you love so much today will on somedays be "someone you want to take down" and if you truly are meant to be together you will always see that glimpse of what it is that makes your stomach jump and your heart skip a beet.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 I guess maybe we really didn't understand what you were asking? I hope everything works out for you! Best wishes.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo he asked me last night infront of my parents and i said yes. so he will not ask me infront of other people.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 January 2012):
 I'd find it flattering , then again I am a big show off . Maybe you are shy .
But , are you worried about having all the attention and the eyes on you... or are you worried about becoming ( being, in fact- you already said yes ) officially engaged at barely 17 ? .. It sounds a very young age for such a big committment.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 January 2012):
 are you nervous because you know that at 17 you are making a commitment to a man for the rest of your life and deep down inside you are not sure that it's the right thing to do?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 January 2012):
Are you shy or something? He's already asked you, in front of your parents, so why would it bother you if he asks you again in front of other people?
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes he actually did it infront of my parents last night. i said yes. my parents are happy too. i love him very much
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (17 January 2012):
 Do you want him to do it in front of everyone?
I'd say be happy that he wants to do it anyway. He wants to do it in front of everyone as a way to declare to his entire world that you are the ultimate love of his life, and that he wants to shout it from the rooftops.
If you're nervous about the whole "in front of everyone" thing, if he does it, just focus on his face and let the rest of the world melt into the background. I know you don't want to put on a show, but just remember what he wants to, and that's just because he loves you so much.
Remember, you'll be getting married in front of everyone! Personally, I'm with you. I'd prefer a private proposal in the moonlight with just the two of us, but if my husband had done it in front of everyone, I'd still be happy.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 January 2012):
He's basically already proposed and you've accepted; the rest is just acting the scenes of a play.
Are you sure you are really ready for this as you are here asking this question? If you need to look to others to validate or confirm what your reactions should be, perhaps you aren't quite grown up enough to be getting engaged or married. I'm not trying to be mean, but this question wouldn't be coming from someone with more self-assurance and self-confidence.
Maybe you're asking because you're not really sure you are ready. You want to be, I'm sure, if he's a nice guy, but if you are not ready, that's not your fault. You are permitted to say, "no, wait, I'm not ready yet." It's okay to be honest about your feelings.
So what would be the problem with him asking you in front of other people?
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female
reader, thinkb4  +, writes (17 January 2012):
Of course you should be happy. He wants everyone to know how wonderful he thinks you are.
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