A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hello, im writing here because i have a problem with my boyfriend. i am about to turn 16 in a few weeks and he will be 20 in a few months. everything started off great,we`ve been together 4 months, but last night we were talking about our futures and he said he wants to have kids soon. i do not. not until im quite a bit older. so the conversation died down and we continued to watch a movie. well things started to get touchy and we ended up having sex. well about half way thru, he took the condom off... i was so confused. i stopped him and asked him what the heck he was doing. and he said "making our baby" and proceeded to have very forceful sex with me. i kept telling him to stop and that he was hurting me and that i didnt want to get pregnant. he didnt stop and he came inside me. i couldnt believe what was going on. i cried for hours and he kept trying to calm me down saying, "youll love it. we`ll be together forever. me and you and our baby." what do i do... please help. im so scared. i dont want to be pregnant.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The Corporate Casanova +, writes (9 March 2010):
 That's very scandalous, now that you mention it. Perhaps I might suggest in-vitro fertilization, deep spermicidal cleansing in the vagina, thorough birth control, or child adoption. Abortion is not the answer, though; it's murder that way. All hope is not lost; if this so-called "boyfriend" of yours wants something from you that you're not ready to give, then he is definitely NOT the man for you, so it's most imperative to steer clear of this young man at all costs.
Trust me; I've envisioned situations like this before, due to certain things I've seen on occasional late-night shows and X-rated videos I used to watch about a year ago. Good thing I'm totally over it, now that I'm facing the world with a moralistic course of action. You'll thank me for this advice in the long run.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): grl yu should go to the police thts rape
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): Your boyfriend sounds like he has alot of issues and maybe even mentaly ill.. Forcing a 15 year old to have a baby with him? 'we'll be together forever' It isn't right. Plus he basicly raped you. When did this happen? I would get a morning after pill ASAP, see a doctor, tell your mom or at least someone. This is a serious thing and especially if you turn out pregnant. I'd stay way away from him, he isn't good for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): This IS rape period, don't try to make excuses to keep loving ,he HURT u! I was raped 6 yrs by someone I loved too, I know how it feels. He should have discussed having a baby w u , big decisions like that are to be discussed as a couple he can't decide for you even if he's older than you and you think he knows better.He's insecure and wanted to make sure you stay by his side if u had a baby together.The other posters are right he will beat you specially when you are pregnant because he'll know you are trapped (this happened to me too) just think about it. I would go to the police too the moment you said no, he should've stopped, If he didn't stop for something as important to you as that he will NEVER listen to you for anything else.
I know it's very hard to get your head around that somebody that supposedly loves you did this to you, but he DID. You can't change or help him. Turn him in to the authorities and you get the morning after pill and talk to someone you trust, you could even call a woman's shelter they have a lot of resources for abused women I have used them. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): I am sorry that this has happened to you. What he did was wrong. It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself. Get away from this person. If you were my daughter I wouldn't yell at you for having sex. I think you are in over your head. You can't handle this young man on your own. You need some help. Tell someone responsible like a parent, the police, rape crisis counselour, but get some help. Best of luck to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): Tell this story to your Mom or an adult that you feel you can trust. It may be difficult, but it needs to be done ASAP. Emergency contraception will only help if you take it before 48-72 hours has passed. You may feel embarrassed, but you will really have to face this situation if you end up pregnant. Your parents love you, and will try to help you, I am sure. If all else fails get to a hospital emergency room, the nurses there will help you. Stay away from this boy...he doesn`t love you if he will put you in danger!
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A
female
reader, CherryBoom  +, writes (7 March 2010):
i totally agree with most of the agony aunts that this is rape.
even if he says he loves u, u should not allow him do such thing with u.
apart from u reporting this as rape to authorities, is there a possibility that ur boyfriend has a mental disorder? maybe ask him if he'd be willing to see a shrink.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): IT'S A RAPE. report it. seriously, he sound like a lunatic. he hurt you, he forced you to do something you didn't want to -- your parents and police should hear about this, for your and other women safety.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): As other people have said, You need the morning after and its rape. See a Doctor.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): Well, I'd like to first query as to whether this is legal... In England you cannot have sex with anyone over 18 until you yourself are over 18...
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A
female
reader, veronika  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 This is definitely rape. If not forced rape, then it is possibly statutory rape depending on your part of the world (considering you're 15).
You need to tell someone, anyone. A parent, friend, go to authorities.
He sounds like a nasty piece of work. I would advise to cut off all contact with him.
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A
female
reader, ChristineAvril  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 As everyone else says, this IS rape. Apart from always being rape at your age, the moment sex ceases to be consensual it becomes rape, no matter if you wanted to do it to start with, and you had already made it clear you didn't want a baby.You need to get the "Morning After" pill as soon as you can, then take this further - he is not respecting you or your wishes to force himself on you and you have no future with an uncaring beast like this. He fully deserves what the Law will throw at him.
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A
female
reader, kissyheart  +, writes (7 March 2010):
i guess just stop seeing that guy he forced you know later also he will force you..as for the pregnancy i guess you should tell your parents about all this..
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): obviosly he loves you very much and he wants by this to trap you for good.what he did is wrong and you should go to doctor to stop you from getting pregnant and dump the bf. he is not a gentleman.
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A
female
reader, jayronae +, writes (7 March 2010):
 You have your whole life to live..And he's already trying to control you. Like others have said, u need to get the morning after pill. maybe checked for STD's/ STI's??u just need to leave while u can, even though u may be really attached. He doesn't respect your wants, thoughts or your body.How can u be in a relationship if its based on control and disrespect. You deserve much, much better 3
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): Whenever it is not consensual, its called rape.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 What he has done is VERY wrong. Stay away from this man. His behavior will get worse and more controlling over time. See a doctor.
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A
female
reader, kitty8199 +, writes (7 March 2010):
He can go to jail for having consentual sex. You are 15, he is 20. That is statutory rape. On top of that, he actually raped you. He is trying to trap you getting you pregnant. That already shows control issues. He will get worse. Pretty soon,he will control your every move. Guys like that progress to physical violence. He already has, but he probably will end up hitting you. Get out quick.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (7 March 2010):
 Quickly go to your doctor or pharmacist to get the morning after pill which is effective for 60 hours. The earlier you take ,the more effective it will be.
Your b/f has crossed the line and you should stop seeing him. Having babies is not a one sided affair. It has to be agreed upon by consensus.
What he has done is rape in the eyes of the law. You can report him to the authorities if you wish to do so.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): You need help now - perhaps a morning after pill. You may not get pregnant in any case but you still need help.You not see him again. Ever. There is no way you can trust someone like this. Not only did he rape you (which is horrible anyway), he was forcing a decision on you. You do not want a baby. And if he does, he decides that you are going to have one anyway. That is bad for a relationship. So get a morning after pill. And dump him. He needs to grow up. And you, at 16 don't need to have full penetrative sex with or without a condom.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 March 2010): He raped you. He tried to force you to spend the next 19 years raising his child against your will. And he will try again if you don't do something about this right now.
Get help. Tell someone you trust.
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