A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My husband has broken my heart, l don't feel for him anymore. Have caught him so many times texting other woman, even my friends, he dates on-line. We talked about it and he promised he was going to stop all that, but l still do not trust him. Now he is pushing me into having a threesome (with him and any of my girl friends). He claims he enjoy's it when we make love ,so why then does he want to make love to another woman? He tells me he doesn't mind if l get involved with another woman, he wants me to be happy. To me he has just gone crazy. Pliz help me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): I understand how you feel, my wife has gone crazy too she want me to Fk!!! her with another man I feel my whole world falling apart. cold sweat wash me all over, I tell her when hell freeze Over (she argue her point) but If she want it that bad, I tell her, she can leave. when she realize how serious I was she said "the only reason I said it is because I thought you were cheating!" telling me she could never let another man touch her. "bull st." I think the relationship is broken because some things are too hard for me to deal with. another thing, I have no problem with women. I could have cheated so many time If I wanted. Sorry about my sad story cheer up my dear It's not the end of the world, be strong, maybe my wife and your husband should hook up, sound like they would make a perfect match.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Hi There, I am so sorry to hear about your situation and how heartbroken you are, I have been in a similiar situation as you and it wrecks your whole sense of being.I had been married for a number of years when my husband had an affair, this was the first time he had been with someone else as we were married quite young,it broke my heart when I asked him exactly what had been going on and what had happened between them, he told me everything that had happened and how different and good he had been made to feel with this other woman, what she did to him and what he did for her. The affair stopped as I went to see this woman to get her side of the story and she said that she would never see him again, I was then left to re-build my marriage again which I wanted to do thinking now it was over all would go away.He was distant from me in the beginning but kept telling me he wanted to be with me,when ever her name came up he would talk about her and have a look in his eye about her that let me know he still had feelings which was totally horrid, I tried to cope as best as I could with this as he kept telling me that it was me that he wanted to be with,I knew when he was with me he was thinking about her and probably even fantasizng about her,I know that he masturbates at times even though I am there for him he chooses to do it alone which also makes me feel inadequate,after all the sordid details had came out and he had made me feel so low about my abilities in the bedroom and I was trying really hard to be his only and special woman in the bedroom, we had a discussion about what is was that he would like to do to make things special, he told me that he would like to have a threesome with me and his ex-affair, I listened and said very little but my heart sank to a new low, my insides were churning and it once again proved that all he wanted to do was sleep with her, but instead of cheating on me this time he wanted me to join in with him and her and watch them together, he told me that it would be his ultimate dream even just once.He has not to my knowledge even heard from this woman, she said she would not seem him again but there he is telling me that he wants her again and for me to join in with them,I love my husband and have forgiven him but this has changed my oppinion of him for ever,he really wanted me to sleep with them and join in, I have not left my husband yet but if he continues to say he wants me and thinks about her and threesome's then that may change. My advice to you is do not join in just so he can satisfy his own depraved lust, true love is about being with one special person in life, do not degrade yourself for his sick excuse to sleep with her again,I feel like crap due to what he did and suggested because all it does is confirm that he thinks about her and wants her, I have to face facts as you do that they may be lying about what they want but they just want to do it in front of us so they can say well at least I am not cheating, my husband has sickened me asking for a threesome with this woman he was seeing behind my back.Maybe there is someone out there who wants to be with you and you alone and this is a clear warning that through time he will just stray anyway that is what I am having to look at to, if he really loved me he would only want me and to share the special things in life with me and me alone, I feel for you and hope you let us know your thoughts and ongoing situation.
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A
female
reader, pastfirst  +, writes (6 January 2009):
 I just don't understand why you're still hanging around with him. You don't have feelings for him and he obviously doesn't care a fxxx about you!
Let him get his threesome somewhere else!
He's only degrading you because you let him. What are you? A doormat?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): What a clever idea. He quits all that flirting via text and online....only to try and replace it with something much more 'real' - a threesome!! Does he think you are stupid? Its his way of cheating but by keeping it above board and getting you involved (using you - this is not love). He is hoping that by enlisting your support for having a threesome he can (finally) have his cake and eat it - and then just say to you "well you said its ok" when you accuse him of flirting. He is an out and out coward. You don't want a threesome so please please please don't degrade yourself any more by staying with him. You have lost all your feelings for him so build on that and take the brave step to leave. Not all men are like this and it will take a decent one next time around to make you think "What on earth was I doing with him?!".
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (6 January 2009):
 Some folks don't know when to leave well enough alone hon. Tell your husband that you aren't going to degrade yourself for his pleasure. This is something that you clearly don't want to do. Now's your time to make a stand.
Little does he know I guess that sometimes when people get involved in something like this they wind up loosing their mate completely....TO THE OTHER MAN! If he continues to go for a realtionship with someone else either online or in person I think you know what you have to do. This isn't likely to stop just because you want it to. He is showing you that he is doing the online thing and offline as well already, then asking you to get involved in a threesome is showing you NO RESPECT! I am pretty sure that he already knows you don't like the idea but wants you to do this and thinks since you are married to him you will comply.
I know you are confused here and if you don't believe in divorce then it's going to really eat away at you. I believed in the vows I took also, however I will tell you that he is defiling your marriage bed. That is a reason to divorce him or at least to leave him. Try talking to him and express your feelings, be honest, it's your right. When you have everything out in the open you can go from there. In no terms should you agree to allow what he is asking, that goes far beyound the vows you took and isn't going to make you feel anything but sick. I hope you are able to talk him into dropping this matter and staying offline, HE IS DESTROYING YOUR MARRIAGE.
Seek out a clergyman you can talk to who may be able to give you some ideas on what to do for you moral concerns. For your emotional concerns don't let your husband walk all over you. Let him know that you are saying NO and STICK TO YOUR DECISION. Be firm!
Funny thing is he only will allow you to be with another woman. That fulfills his needs to interact and be sexual with another woman himself. Chances are he would *CROAK if there really was another man on board! For your own sake though I would just close that door completely and shut him down!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): l do agree with "uncle phil", fix him girl, teach him a lesson, have the threesome with a man of your choice first. Then he will learn a lesson.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): That’s a hard one, I first logged onto this site with the same question, but it was a different situation everyone told me not to do it if I don’t feel comfortable, and I didn’t and that helped me a lot, to be honest I have a slight interest in females, I see them as more beautiful and thinking about a woman touching me like no other man could drives me insane, but I couldn’t do it with my boyfriend and another girl, I cant stand the thought of him being with another woman, yea some might say its selfish but that’s how I feel, I think some ppl are into things like that and others anrnt, I would like to experiment with things like that someday when I feel more secured but I know for a fact that if I do this to make him happy that I will end up being unhappy,
Both people must want this it cant only come from one side, but then again as the other poster said offer him a male female male threesome, check his reaction check how he would feel about sharing his wife’s body with another man, he might just change his mind. Or get a better idea of how this is making you feel, sometimes when the tables are turned people react differently.
Please let me know what happens
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Tell him you'll agree to it on the condition that the first threesome you have is with another man - of your choosing. I think it'll be a safe enough bet that he'll forget the idea altogether.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): If you do not feel for him any more then you can easily overcome all emotional hurdles. You have a chance to put him to the test. Agree not to a threesome but a foursome with another guy and a girl or a threesome with each one of you having their fair share but in this order(since you dont trust him) - threesome with 2 guys and yourself first round and then round two, yourself, his desired girl and your husband. Then see how both you guys feel and then have a re-look at your relationship.
From my experience your mere suggestion of a threesome or foursome or him enteratining the thought of you having sex with another guy and being open about it could re-ignite his passion for you and renew your relationship without having to go through any of the motions aforementioned.
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