A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need some help on this one please...I'm having some trouble with my girlfriend. I haven't seen her for 2 months on Friday because she keeps saying her work and family are keeping her busy (she's doing her GCSEs so maybe that really could be why?) but she hasn't and refuses to make time to see me just for an hour and I'm beginning to feel she's just dragging me alone on a metaphorical piece of string.She insists she loves me more but she's hardly showing it. She has said she's not been feeling all 'lovey dovey' recently but there's other things. I said "I love you" on facebook and that comment got deleted which has happened twice yet she doesn't delete anybody elses comments. She never mentions wanting to be with me in texts and emails and she never says she misses me any more.But in the past she also said she's never leaving me and I mean the world to her. That was even said when we were past the "Honeymoon stage". And that she promised and she promised she'd make up for it. She's also done things to break my trust for her and she knows what I'm like. Near the end of last year we were arguing over silly things and we both said some stupid things to each other because it's been hard on me also.Last night we were joking in texts who loves who more yet Im still not entirely convinced. I've decided I'm going to give her some space and only reply when she texts me just to see how things go. Other than that, what can I do? I'm going to ask if she's free on the weekend.Also, I bought her a christmas present and she said she's opened it but I'm now having trouble believing her because she never mentions it working or using it.I want to believe and trust her though and I want to stay with her but it's getting harder and I don't know what else to do. Any help would be very much appreciated.Thank you...The thing is I love her to bits still and
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Well good luck with this, I really hope things get better for you and your girl, remember not to let go if there is anything left to hold on to K, have a good day tata
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you again for all the help you've given me. I did a lot of thinking last night and decided that for now I'm not going to move on. I'm going to see if she's still interested in me or not. It's just that I'm losing a lot of sleep over this and other things and it's hell. But I still love her and care for her a lot.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): You are more than welcome, this girl is lucky to have a man like you in her life and I am sure that she knows that, perhaps she knows that you will understand her behavior because you know how important her GCSEs is to her, just keep on loving her and letting her know that you love her, love is special and you shouldn’t let go until you are 100% sure that what you are leaving behind is what you really what you want to do.
I ma happy I could help, as long as you stay positive you will attract positive things,
And when things get better, please let me know, have a wonderful day today
good luck
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe's said in the past she feels lucky to have me and stuff.
I'm just going to go along the road of her making contact first. I realise now that she'll talk to me if and when she wants to and I cant force her to.
Last night I sent a text to her saying I can't imagine loving someone else and all I want is her and how much I love and care for her and she knows I do.
She is, in my eyes, worth waiting for and people have said she'd be a fool for making me "the one that got away".
Thanks for the help and for helping me to wake up so to speak.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Well I would say go with what your heart is telling yo, you cant go wrong there, maybe you should still send her a bunch of her favorite flowers, and a card wishing her good luck on her exams, and telling her how much you love and care for her. I guess we all learn new things everyday and through this conversation I have also answered some of my boyfriends behavior patterns LOL. You should never ever give up on love without actually fighting for it and it really sounds like your feelings for this lady runs deep. And she is very lucky to have a man that cares about her like this, wait for her give her the space and good luck…. I guess its true what they say good things are worth waiting for … have a beautiful day today
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe studies seriously hard because she cares a lot about her GCSEs and wants to do her best. Me and my mum have talked about why I'm not seeing her much (my gf, not my mum) and she (my mum) was the same when doing her A-Levels.
I think maybe her health is a factor also due to her losing a lot of weight last year.
My problem is that I analyze things a bit too much sometimes. Especially when I worry.
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female
reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (6 January 2009):
 To be fair, im doing my GCSE's at the moment and we have just started mocks today... is she very studious?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionFor the Facebook thing: I only go on there to talk to real friends either from school or who I've met through the years.
I think I'm going to stick to what I said before and just let her have some time. I do know what she's going through though as I've been through the same stuff and I know when I was I didn't want to see people and all I wanted to do was sit inside on the computer.
I'm going to let time take it's toll and hope we really were meant to be.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThe phrases thing isn't anything like the charming things, we say that, yes but the ones we have for ourselves are different. I'm going to try and see her on the weekend and talk things through.
I did tell her in a text and email how she's made me feel and she said she can see why I'm feeling like it and stuff. There's probably other stuff I need to say but just can't think of.
I'd rather her be honest with me and despite how heartbreaking/devastating it would be to me I'd want her to tell me if she has fallen out of love with me because it's becoming too much now.
I'm beginning to not believe any of those messages of "I'm never leaving you" etc now. I wish I didn't but I do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Well if her family knows bout the two of you why don’t the two of you spend time with her family why does she have to exclude you from this? If she is serious about you and wants to marry you you should most certainly spend time with your in-laws (it sounds a bit fishy to me) what is she hiding or why is she hiding?
My heart bleeds for you as I know how it feels being away from the person you love, ushers got a song on his CD 8701 called you’ve got it bad, and it sounds like you’ve got it bad and shes not feeling it, if she loves you as much as you think she does how does she keep herself away from you, how does she go to sleep at night without hearing your voice, i cant even fall asleep if my Boyfriend is not in bed next to me, I am not clingy but that’s how badly we wana be together and feelings like that must come from both sides not only one, I don’t understand how any person thats in love can be away from the one they love without going insane….
Oh and the facebook thing … well I see facebook as the devils playground, it allows you to live in a virtual world, be who ever and what ever you want to be, girls meet guys who speak to them nicely and have a nice pic and make them feel sexy , guys meet girls who flirt and make them feel like they are powerful, things like that ruins relationships, I almost had my own relationship wrecked because of facebook, but after speaking to my man and explaining how I see it, he understood, why do you need to go onto a sight to chat to other guys or gals that don’t even really exist, except in that world you created.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): What do you mean phrases things you call each other? Sweet heart if the most ugliest girl in the world walked up to you and said be honest am I ugly … 90% of the people will find a nice way to say that she is not ugly, coz they don’t wana hurt her feelings, if your girl has for some reason fallen out of love with you, it must be very hard for her to tell you, I cant imagine how I would tell my boyfriend something that I know will devastate him, I think she cares about your feelings and doesn’t want to hurt you, be open and honest with her, and you will get the same perhaps go and surprise her with a bunch of roses and then discuss all of this, she might actually still love you but have questions of her own, maybe she needs some more romance, and affection, us woman have a strange way of asking for what we want, and for your own piece of mind and hers try and see her and talk about this face to face.
Keep me posted
:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've spoken on the phone, yes but we just haven't spent time together. Her family know about our relationship and I've met her mum and sisters but I'm now worried that maybe she's told her mum we're not together any more.
I've gone from counting the months we've been together to how many weeks we haven't seen each other. She sent a text saying that she didn't think how hard this must be on me and has finally taken responsibility for it all.
I'm just so confused and how do you mean by watch out for facebook?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI forgot to add that we have our own little "code" phrases and we've still been saying those through this time I just don't feel like she fully means it any more.
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): You haven’t spoken to your GF in 2 months coz she is busy??????? And you believe that, when I was doing my finals it was my boyfriends sweet voice that helped me through sometimes I even gave him a call and asked him just to please tell me he loves me, why would she feel the need to push you away, why can her family keep her that busy? Dopes her family know about your relationship?
Things doesn’t sound to Kosher to me but give her time as you said, just don’t let her hurt you, sometimes people do manager to fall out of love with a person, which doesn’t mean they don’t care about the other person anymore, and that care for the other person might be what is prevemting them from braking up and hurting the other person..
Perhaps you should ask her what the problem is tell her to be honest and truthful, as a lie and her keeping something from your will hurt you more than the actual lie
And some advice watch out for facebook
Please let me know what happens
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