A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:we've been relationship for 6months.before relationship he told me he has a gf 3yrs ago,she cheated him and went to overseas with her new bf.i comforted him and later we're in love.then later i found out that he still keep in touch with his ex while dating me through someone who know him.however i decided to let it go once cuz i really loved him.soon he stopped contact me,i contacted him first bt no answer.one day i went for shopping then i saw my bf with his ex;holding hands at shoes shop.she came back from overseas and they're got back together again.now i've known that he pretend to love me so that he can fill his emptiness.i know the best revenge is to ignore and be happier than him.but i can'tlet him get away with this.i want to show that i'm human;not material.how to teach him a lesson with words?
View related questions:
got back together, his ex, revenge Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Ich_liebe_dich +, writes (13 February 2010):
 What about if we use this as a lesson to our self? Look, you will try the best you can do to do a revenge. ok lets think you do it. what about if he just reject what ever revenge you will do, you will just end up hurt and crying. Forget him, move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): I am sorry that you are hurting and I certainly understand why you are angry, too.You really will not feel better trying to teach this man a lesson and revenge never is as satisfying as it sounds in your head.I think you could learn a lesson here, though. When you meet a man that has recently broken up a long term relationship like that, you don't want to get involved with him until he has had several months or even up to a year to heal because it is very typical for people to use another person as a rebound relationship meaning that they are hurting and vulnerable and needy and they tend to be really open to wanting to fall in love, which sucks you in. But the red flag warning here is how intense and how fast things move along. Once the person feels healed then they are ready to move on.I don't think the fact that he went back to his ex means that he pretended his relationship with you. I am sure he thought he meant his feelings at the time. But the sad thing is, he was really mixed up and hurt himself and he chose you for the wrong reasons. Often rebound relationships exist between two people that are not well matched, they are based on sex and intensity a lot of the time. I hope that you had some fun during the six months that you dated him.And I think your mistake has only been that you are letting his rejection of you define you as someone who is not worthy of him and that isn't true. He wasn't worthy of you.I would just wish him well and ask him to leave you alone forever so that you can get over this disappointment, and that is what it really is, a disappointment not the loss of a serious long term relationship where you had a life togeter all in line and planned out...You will feel better if you first forgive him and then let it all just go.You will choose better next time....Take care
...............................
A
female
reader, Brooklyngirl  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Forget teaching him a lesson! Use this situation as a lesson for yourself! Our lives are full of tough lessons and we have to learn from them.
You are better off without him! Move on and consider it a lesson learned!
~BG~
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): Just tell him he has hurt you very much and made you unhappy. Say you hope he gets the happiness he deserves, then leave him to his thoughts. If this brings you closure it is best to be honest and speak whats on your mind x
...............................
A
female
reader, Tigerlily +, writes (13 February 2010):
I don't know that you can teach him a lesson. People learn what they want to learn. I think that you have a right to your feelings, and if you feel you need to confront him and tell him that he hurt you and you feel lied to and used, then you should do that. If you can remain calm and honest that is the most effective way to make him feel bad. If you get hysterical or angry then he just writes you off as "she's crazy". But you deserve to have you say in order to have closure and move on.
...............................
A
female
reader, laceytopgirl  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 "sticks and stones can break my bones but words can never hurt me"
u ve just got to learn from this mistake and carry on, u shoudnt say nothing as i think u ll end up hurting even more. what es done is unfair and iuncalled for but u cant change it its happened and if the ex is what es wanted all along whatever u say isnt goin to bother him as hes where he wanted to be.
unfortuntely ur the upset one but be strong and learn from this mistake. Forget the user.:)
...............................
A
female
reader, pepper27 +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Hi Hun
Unfortunatly I think you will just have to try and learn from this and become stronger as that is the best revenge you can get anytime..
Never try and get revenge it would just show you cared and he new that and yes he did the wrong thing by not talking to you about it and just leaving, But dont give him the pleasure of knowing you still care..Get strong and get back to yourself and find someone who deserves you..This arse obviously did not so to me you had a lucky escape...And you are worth so much more always remember that..If you need a chat message me WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
...............................
|
