A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been going out with this guy for a few weeks. he was really nice, opened doors for me, said sweet things, and seemed real cool. He seemed patient, didn't mind spending time with my family, and was real smart. he was older than me and seemed so mature, he never cursed or anything. I told him i was a virgin and wasn't ready for sex, he said he was ok with it, but that one day he might want to be my first. I didn't give him any answer. five days later, we're kissing, and he wants to take off my pants. I say no. he stops. then he tries it again. i say no. he shoves my hand away, and does it. I'm scared, frozen. then he takes his pants off, and now, i'm trying to get away from him. he pushes me down and holds me there. he tells me, "stop this shit, you're a grown woman." He tries to put himself inside me, i freak and push him away. I'm almost cryng and only then does he stop. when i calm down, he tries it again, to get inside. I shove him off again and he tries holding me down, but i get out of it. finally he stops and he acts like himself, nice and funny. but i dont feel like laughing. i feel sore and sick. when he drives me back home, he's back to being "himself" and I get weirded out. As i start leaving the car, he tells me he's sorry and looks concerned and a little sad. He tells me that if i want to talk about anything, he's "there." I cried when I got home and nobody noticed how messed up I was. am I making a big deal out of nothing? am i being stupid? i feel like crap. are guys usually like this? please, give me feedback.
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female
reader, zumba36  +, writes (15 January 2013):
I had a guy a few days ago and he wouldn't take no for an answer either. He used tactics such as pinning me down and saying i was a prude!. I thought he had mental health issues because he was occasionally cranky. He was also very controlling. What makes me disappointed is that i didn't mind playing around in a rough fashion until he wouldn't stop after I told him. I believe his behaviour was unacceptable but i put up with it for 5 weeks cause i loved him. I blame myself as well. I wonder if that makes me stupid?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2012): your not over reacting,,,,something like that has happend to me before..
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A
male
reader, tottenhamhotspur  +, writes (20 July 2010):
To most men, there is nothing more cringe-worthy than doing something that makes another person uncomofortable in a sexual way. If he had made the move, seen you were uncomfortable, then stoped, that would be one thing.However, the way he talked to you and continued to try proves that he has a total disregard for your feelings!I made a move on a woman once- I kissed her and touched her bum after meeting her breifly at a bar. it was a dumb mistake and I have felt horrible about it for years. If I did that to you, I would likely kill myself. Noone should be treated that way!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (27 February 2010):
 NO, you're most certainly NOT making a big deal out of nothing!
This man wanted sex with you, and while he said he was okay with waiting, he didn't mean it. He lied, and let himself get carried away to the point he would have raped you if you hadn't resisted. He showed you no respect whatsoever.
And don't think he was so "hot" he couldn't control himself! That's B.S. Of course he could control himself!
I hope you will never again even give him the time of day, let alone talk, date or agree to see him!
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (27 February 2010):
 He almost raped you, so if you're asking if all guys are rapists, I'm going to give you a BIG NO. cut all ties with this guy, he's bad bad news.
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A
male
reader, Faraday  +, writes (27 February 2010):
 That was not only unforgivable but illegal. You have been subjected to a sexual assault JUST short of rape. Had you been a little less able to resist, i.e. less determined, or a little drunk and it would actually have BEEN rape.You need to cut off all contact with this two-faced beast and report all that occured to your local Police officers, both for your sake and to protect any others unfortunate enough to come into contact with him.
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A
female
reader, Accountable +, writes (27 February 2010):
 You are absolutely NOT overreacting, and dont let him try to convince you that you are. No, truly good guys arent like this - my older boyfriend didnt pressure me, and he certainly didnt pin me down to get what he wanted.
Don't give him any more of your time, and dont get into a situation where you are alone with him again - it sounds like he's very good at playing the part of a nice, decent guy, but definitely isnt one. You didn't do anything wrong - I would suggest talking to somebody you know well and trust about it; its a horrible thing to have to keep inside yourself.
Good luck xx
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