A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:heyi really love my boyfriend, but he doesnt treat me the way i want to be treated.the way he talks 2 me is always dirty (sexual) and i want him to b more romantic and chivalrous towards me. he says that he is romantic cos he gives me presents, but i dont think giving presents is romantic.i said i wont have sex with him until i dont get treated the way i deserve to 2 b treated and he said that im overreacting! he treats me more like a slut then a gf Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Stayc63088  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 And I don't mean to disagree with anyone but telling him to light candles or do things for you just isn't the same as him doing them on his own. Even if he did these things it would be because you are telling him to, that isn't romantic. It's the thought that counts and it would all be your thoughts.
A
female
reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (2 January 2009):
Ok I dated a guy exactly like this. The fact is you can't make him romantic or chivalrous, he either is or he isn't. I had to learn this the hard way. My ex would always talk about sex, basically all he talked about. It made me feel cheap in a way. You can't change this guy. Tell him you feel more like a slut than his gf and see what he says but the fact that he thinks buying you presents is romantic just proves he isn't what you want. Don't try to make him what you want, find the right guy for you. Good luck.
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A
male
reader, dasonras +, writes (2 January 2009):
You first must bring this to his attention in a serious and clear manner. Be very specific with what it is he does that is making you uncomfortable.
He may very well not realize he is upsetting you.
Also, examine the way he behaves and responds to others. Is he generally inappropriate? Is he rude? Perhaps it is a maturity issue he is facing.
Regardless, if he does not want to hear your concerns, it is unlikely he will change for you as he sees no problem. This can turn into a very unhealthy relationship and I advise you run away and don't look back.
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A
female
reader, Befuddled1  +, writes (2 January 2009):
 It is hard to find the right mix of sensual and sexual..and lets face it...most men haven't got a clue.
i do hate those slimy dudes with all the spiel though.
People will only treat you the way you allow them to, put your foot down and say it might be ok sometimes in the bedroom but you'd also like a bit of respect.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, roadman +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Well he'll be in trouble if you meet a real gent..who gives you some smooth lyrics..If your not feeling the treatment then may be wise to look else where..
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A
female
reader, Michelaa +, writes (2 January 2009):
 this is no way to be treated.Speak to him and tell him if he doesn't start treating you with respect because it's what you deserve then you are leaving even though it will be hard to do it will be for the best x
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A
female
reader, Prinsesslexi123 +, writes (2 January 2009):
 Im actually going through almost the same thing.
Hes not my bf but i do like him an dI have done stuff with him but now he thinks im a major slut and i want him to think that because i really do like him and I want him to do things with me but sometimes it can be really annoying and he doesn't treat me the way i want him to.
But this guy is your bf and its not okay for him to treat you that way.
I would tell him that its not okay and you dont appricaite him and give him a warning that you will leave him.
That should scare him.
xo,
A
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