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How do I go about getting to know her cousin without hurting her?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 9 January 2012)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Sorry in advance its a bit of a ramble

On new years My best friend, a friends and I went to our local comedy club as a few comedians were on. My best friend cousins were out aswell. After the show was over we stayed behind in the club and had a few drinks. I got talking to my best friends cousin we grew up together but he moved away and forgot who I was and couldn't believe it was me he kept saying " ****** from years ago?!! " and then we got talking more and he asked me to go to a nightclub I usually go to but I said not this time but next time defo. He kept staring at me and smiling and I think he may like me. While we parted ways the friend said she thought the cousin I was talking to was gorgeous and wanted to get his number. But my best friend said I wouldn't bother. The confusing thing is she doesn't really like the friend so that could've been an excuse. But I want to maybe get his number but I'm afraid it'l upset my best friend. I tried to talk to her about him I never came straight out I fancy your cousin but she just says " he had a reputation apparently he's changed but I haven't really spoken to him I can only go by what i remeber and I just remeber him being a tool "

My main questions are

How do I go about getting to know her cousin without hurting her or should I leave well enough alone?

I hope i get a reply soon

View related questions: best friend, cousin

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2012):

I would leave well enough alone.

Your best friend seems to feel as though her friends should not get involved with her family, some people may say this is silly, but it seems to be how she feels.

The fact is she may see it as you betraying the friendship, either way the friendship will change if you do this so ask yourself if that is something that you really want to have happen.

I have been in the situation with my best friend's brother, he liked me and I liked him, but I told him that I wouldn't ever act on those feelings, because his sister is my best friend. Her friendship means a lot to me and I wouldn't put her in that position. I have never regretted that decision.

I have my best friend and I am friend's with her brother, and have the respect of both of them and their whole family. In the end it is your decision, you need to decide whether it is worth changing your friendship and maybe losing her as your best friend to be with her cousin (if he does actually like you). Good Luck

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