A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:please guys help im so fed up and upset and yes this is all my own fault. i thought a guy i knew was my friend. at first he was very sincere and in a bad way because his wife cheated on him. i thought he neede a friend so i took him under my wing-in a friendship capacity and gradually he got better.hes excelled at work thanks to me and he was financially badly off-again i helped him when needed but he always 'forgot to pay back. we'd st and have lunch and he'd sit and i'd end up paying-have done for over a year and now im sick of the guy. i feel used. hes got what he wants and again thanks to me i did a job app for him and hes off in 2 days to his new role and doesnt give a damn where im at. how could he change so much and why am i so distraught over someone who never really cared ?
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male
reader, Kilcardy  +, writes (7 January 2011):
I'm sorry you're hurt. But, this is really about you and not about your cad of a friend. I mean, why would you buy his lunch for a year, or give him money? It sounds to me as if you were bribing him to hang out with you. Sort of like taking someone hostage. You need to find out why you felt the need to do that. I fell into that trap with a co-worker a few years ago. I was hurt and angry. I realized that I volunteered for the abuse, and I focused on trying to figure out why. I realized that some people can see a "tender heart" a mile away and take full advantage. I believe that's what happened to you. By the way, he didn't change. You just woke up.
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (6 January 2011):
 It's natural to feel distraught when you get used. I'm sorry this guy used you like this. People who abuse friendships are the worst. Learn from this and don't make the mistake again. I wouldn't waste any more time with him though.
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