A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend kicked me out of our home on sunday, leaving me heart broken and homeless. his reasons were basically to cut a long story short that i react differently to him in situations and this frustrates him, im a very emotional person. I have done a lot for him, including helping him forge a relationship with his son, not that i held this against him i was happy to. He was unhappy however that we fought now again (normally over stupid things) as his past relationship had been rocky to say the least and any type of conflict upset him. Other than that we had a very good relationship, and i feel like hes thrown a lot away over very little. its me thats been left heartbroken and homeless and in debt, yet he is the one playing the victim, saying he feels alone in our house now, and he hates what hes done to me. Im finding it all very confusing for someone who was so certain that this was the best thing for us both, and it would in his own words, make him a lot happier.Is it just headgames, is he trying to get a reaction out of me, or is it something else. im finding the way he is being very hard because i obviously wanted this relationship to work, i was willing to try different things to do so, and offered this when he said he thought we needed to be over.i still love him, but at the moment im very hurt, and am attempting to move my life forward, im looking for somewhere to live so i can remove my stuff from now 'his house' as he keeps refering to it as, and move on. but deep inside i still want this relationship to work, i dont however want to be a doormat. i dont know what to do for the best and his consistent telling me how bad he feels is making it worse because i dont know how to interpret it
View related questions:
debt, heartbroken, move on Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Your friend  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 It doesn't matter if he is playing with your head or not, why would your want to stay with such a horrible person, your life is worth more than that. Find someone who wants to hold you until you fall asleep and is still staring at you when you wake in the morning.
A
male
reader, Collaroy +, writes (27 August 2009):
 To me there are two types of relationships , those with conflict and those without. You give a key indicator in your text : "I am a very emotional person". This tells me that you express these emotions over often trivial matters. For a lot of couples this is a positive, they yell and scream at each other and things patch up relatively quickly . I have two good friends like this, they have a very strong committed relationship ( despite the constant arguing).
But for other people, me included, constant emotional scenes are too much too handle. So in a way I can empathise with your partner.
However, he has left you in the lurch by kicking you out so quickly and so thoughtlessly, he has shown that he hasnt shaken off the dramas of his past and you are the person suffering for it. So I am not excusing him for this, he really has been rather nasty about the whole thing.
You are best of taking a clean break and maybe next time the easy going type who shuns emotional outbursts is most likely not the best match for you.
Good luck.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (27 August 2009):
 Dear poster, the man threw you out. Don't make the mistake of going back. He doesn't respect you now, as he can't tolerate differences of opinion, but he would respect you even less if you went back. Take this as a golden opportunity to leave the bastard behind and find someone you can disagree with, because that man will love you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Ifyoudontmind  +, writes (27 August 2009):
It seems like an overreaction honestly. Sometimes fights evolve to a certain point and you can no longer think logically.
Depending on how long you two were together, I mean honestly you should be able to sort it out. Relationships are all about the contrast, the equilibrium, you know? that balance you tend to counteract each other.
My wife and I have extereme opositions. But we still love each other despite the fighting. Just get him to rationalize it all.
-iydm
...............................
|
