A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello,I'm a 24 year old female who has had a rough life I've been using my sisters pictures as passing them off that that's me for about a year now. She knows about it and thought it was funny. Now I've met a great guy who I'm totally in love with he knows the real me besides what the real me looks like. Were supposed to meet in a few weeks I'm trying to figure out a way to tell him that thats not me. Any tips or anything you guys could give me would be great. I love him. But I'm so scared of losing him :( Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 I think you should give him the surprise when you meet him.
This way , you get to meet him for sure.
If you tell him now , you may run the risk not meeting him.
You may hint to him that you look abit different from that picture.
Do not worry too much. If he likes you , he would accept your
behaviour.
A
female
reader, Oblivia  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 I agree with rcn, just be honest. It is not strange to hide certain things about oneself when online dating, it is quite normal. What is important now is that you like this guy. If he would be terribly offended by the fact you hid some facts about yourself and your looks on the site, then maybe you should rethink about him anyways.
Hopefully though, he will be glad and flattered that you've decided that you like and trust him enough to want to meet him in real life and show him the real you.
Good Luck, and be careful when meeting him!
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Honesty. That's it. You love him, then you should be willing to be honest with him. Now is the time, before meeting.
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A
female
reader, pashanoodle  +, writes (8 June 2008):
 Hmmm, this is a hard one...I'm assuming we're talking about internet dating?? Has this guy been thinking you are your sister for a whole year?? How many photos has he seen and have you discussed the photo/s as if it IS you??
The reason I ask is that he MAY find the misrepresentation a little alarming if it has been a long time and if there has been opportunity to 'come clean' and you didn't. It MAY make him wonder what else you have 'fibbed' about.
Having said that...there is nothing you can do now but tell him....he is going to find out sooner or later now you plan to meet. I don;t have any tip other than trying to explain why you felt you couldn't use your own picture (why???)...and why you then felt you couldn't 'own up'....
Hopefully he will be able to see that your relationship is about far more than a photo/image of you he may have had and you won;t 'loose him'...if he only likes you for your looks he's not worth it anyway....but I suspect the photo won;t be the issue, it'll be the continued deception. I do think he will be angry at you at least for a little while, and he may be a bit confused about how to take you at first. You're going to have to accept that. So - tell him asap...try and deal with it well BEFORE your meeting.
On a brighter note - a good friend of mine started dating this guy..a few months later he fessed up that he was FAR younger than he had told her...she was angry (not at his age but at the continued deception/his inability to be honest with her after getting to know her...). lots of her friends told her it was "a bad sign"...that he'd lied for so long....but, she forgave him and now they have been happily married for 3 years!!
Hope it all works out!
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