A
female
age
41-50,
*appyhart
writes:Re: My boyfriend ex-wife is driving us crazy.My boyfriend has been divorced for 3 years, his ex-wife filed for divorce. He met me 7 months before his divorce was final and was having a very hard time. That is how we became good friend. We then started to date and moved in together this past January. That's when the problems begin. She calls him late at night, text him all the time, emails him at work, and even calls him at work often. This has caused some problems in the past. This past Sunday I found text messages she sent him in poetry style. The bottom line is she wants him back now. And she is trying every way she can. She is leaving tons of message on my boyfriend's brother myspace account - letting me know that she wants to be in the family and back with my boyfriend. He told me that he couldn't imagine life without me and he is here with me right now. But I don't know to do or what will come of this. He also said that he felt that he needed to give her another chance so he could prove to her that she doesn't want him. She just doesn't want him with me. How do I handle the situation without going insane. I love my bf very much - I have a special type of love for him and don't want to lose him.
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female
reader, happyhart +, writes (27 August 2007):
happyhart is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all of you that have replied. I didn't want it to come down to me or her but I know that it will eventually. This weekend was no different, I looked at his phone yesterday morning and he had 17 missed calls from her. So I'm sure that she is emailing him at work and calling. It's all too much for me. And if he can't stand up for me and put my feelings first I'll be forced to remove myself from the sitution. BTW they don't have any children together, Thank Goodness! Only time will tell, I'll keep you guys in form.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2007): He felt that he needed to give her another chance?? No matter what the reason he claims he wants to do this for, that is a huge red flag, dear!Furthermore, he is lying to you. There is absolutely no other reason for him to want to get back with her unless he still loves her. I can't imagine the pain and anger this has caused you but you gotta face the reality. You can either settle for this mediocrity and feel sorry for yourself or you can tell him to go back to the dumb bitch, they both deserve each other, and go out and make yourself ten times more beautiful, fifteen times more desirable, find yourself a new guy who is way better and sit back and laugh in his face when he breaks up with her a second time and tries to get back with you and sees what a huge mistake he made and begs you back and you could care less and are way better off anyways.It's up to you.
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (25 August 2007):
 He is putting her ahead of you; this isn't good. I would leave him to her and good riddance.
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A
female
reader, Tray-Lou  +, writes (25 August 2007):
I f he said he wanted to go back to her to prove a point thats just a ridiculous suggestion who does that nobody. you need to find out if he really wants to be with and a good way of proving that is changing his mobile number change his e-mail address block calls from her to work and tell your brother to delete his my space account so there is no way she can intouch with him and if he agrees to do all those things to avoid this woman then he obviously doesn't want to see her or be with her but if he gets argumentative about subconciously he still likes the attention she is giving him and maybe could still like her. or you could both go speak to this woman and ask her to leave you alone but you have to do this together and if she refuses get a restraiing slapped on her
good luck shug
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (25 August 2007):
 Hi there,
I think your b/f is being a little insensitive towards your feelings here to say the least!
If you are living together now, surely he has made some sort of commiment to you....
If he gets back with his ex on the pretext of making her realise she doesn't really want him, just doesn't want anyone else to have him scenario, where does that leave you? Hanging around while she makes up her mind?
No, tell him if he feels the need to give his ex another go, then that's up to him, but don't be foolish enough to wait around for him in the meantime.
If he was done with her he would tell her he had moved on now and it was time she did the same. Why would you want the prospect of his ex taking him back at any given moment hanging over you for the foreseeable future, it will make you feel insecure, that's not the basis of a solid relationship, it will bring you nothing but heartache!
Tell him to make up his mind and if he chooses you tell him the txt and constant phone calls should stop, of course if children are involved they will have to have some contact, but I see no reason for it to be of a personal nature. If he chooses to be with her be done with him, move on to someone who knows their own mind!
Good luck and keep us posted.
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A
female
reader, rockelle +, writes (24 August 2007):
 If he is considering going back to her to prove a point, it could be possible that he wants her back as well. Marriage is a serious commitment and maybe he feels like he needs closure . Ultimately it all comes down to him making a decision, if he wants to move backwards then you know that he is not for you. If he truly loves you and is over her he will tell her to go away and let her know that he loves you.
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