A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Alright... so I met this guy at work. I work days, he works the night shift. We only see each other if I work late. So, we're friends on Facebook, we text, we message, we even talk when we see each other at work on occasion. He told me he really likes me, and feels something for me that he's never felt before. And I told him I like him-- so the feeling is mutual. So here's the problem... All of a sudden, out of the blue, he stops texting me. No responses. Nothing. And then two days ago, I was working late and feeling bad for myself (it was valentines day) and he walks up and we talk for about 10 minutes. It was great. He acted normal and like nothing had changed. I didn't say anything about the texting or anything, and it was good to talk to him. Then he had to go work, and I had to go home. Since then, I have heard nothing. I texted him yesterday but no response. My world feels like it's going to end haha. I am going to go insane if I can't figure out what's going on. I like him so much, but this hurts. I can't just ask him, because I hardly see him, and obviously he doesn't text back. Maybe his phone is MIA? Or he's busy? I don't know. But it's hard because he sleeps when I'm awake and vice versa. Anyways, you can tell I'm a hot mess. Please, any advice will help. I'm a serious mess. This is driving me crazy- I like him a lot more than I originally planned. Is this a guy game? Or is this just a misunderstanding? Or am I making this whole thing up in my head?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 February 2012):
 texting is no way to have a conversation.
texts don't always get through first of all
my fiance's phone often stops getting texts till he reboots the phone and since he's not a texter he forgets to check and I once watched him reboot and 4 texts from me dropped in from DAYS before.
stop trying to have relationships via texts.
and read what Cindy Cares said again and again...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): Try and keep calm... you need to find something else to occupy yourself.
Men like a chase and he clearly knows he's got you where he 'wanted'. You need to back off from him and see how he reacts.
If a guy is interested, he won't let you go and will continue to pursue you!
I've been there with texting ... try and not base the feelings you've created from getting to know each other via text. Part of its not real. As people can text anything they want and not necessarily mean it.
Good luck :-)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 February 2012): he probably doesn't have as great a need to maintain non-stop communication as you do. I can't handle nonstop texting or emailing or calling, myself. OK not nonstop obviously, but constant communication to me is tiresome and if the other person insists on it then I start to get resentful of the demands on my time and energy. each person has their own individual tolerance level for how much communication becomes too much that it stops being functional, interesting or pleasant.
don't let yourself get all worked up into a hot mess because you can't change another person's individual tolerance level for how much communication they want or can handle. Don't be so quick to attribute negative intentions to his lack of texting, or any intentions at all.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Facebook is evil:) Texting is evil :). Because it creates so many unnecessary drama and so many unrealistic expectations.
These are very low maintenance communication means, that allow you to keep people indefinitely at the periphery of your life, without having to feel,or show, a real, genuine interest and take a definite position. It takes no time and no effort, you can shoot a quick text to a person whenever you have 5 free minutes and the whim, - you can be working, or playing computer games with other people, or even actually being out with another girl or guy ... voila, a quick message will often be enough to keep the receiver of the message in the ilusion you CARE about him or her , and not just an ego stroking option on your list of " if it happens it happens ".
Does this guy like you ? Probably yes . Does he like you enough, at least enough for your tastes ? Surely not.
We can only gauge other people 's interest and seriousness toward us by their actions, and by the time , effort , thought and consistency that these actions require.
His actions indicate that , while probably he is not intentionally messing with your head, he is not that into you. At least, not as much as you'd want.
So, rewind the mental movie , and either keep your interaction with him loose ,lighthearted and expectation free, if that suits you, or just ignore him and move on.
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A
female
reader, chinana  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Sweetie you need to play it cool. Stop fretting about the fact that he is not texting back, in my opinion you seem too eager to talk/text and sometimes guys can pick up on those vibes. Give him room to figure out what he wants. If he contacts you hurray if not well onto the next one, plenty of fish in the sea. You say you were feeling pity for yourself on valentines day but if you are single again next year go out and pamper yourself okay and do not loathe yourself for being single.
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A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (17 February 2012):
 Calm down.
He could be 1) embarassed about how he stated his feelings for you 2) busy 3) intentionally ignoring you to keep you interested in his unpredictable behavior. The last one is a tread carefully area cause a guy shouldnt mess with a girls head yet he shouldnt be outright about his feelings so early. Women like mystery, not sell outs. Find a way to get a hold of him and speak to him.
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