A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been married for 3 years and within that 3 years my husband and i have had 3 kids together i came in with 2 kids of my own but my husband hass cheated on me sooo many times we dont sleep togther and he rather masterbate then have sex with me and when we do have sex its very short and sometimes he dont even get hard its hurts me so bad that i could be in the next room and instead of him coming to get me he will watch porn oh and not only that when we do have sex he has to watch porn while in action i dont know what to do its really getting to me i have talked to him time and time again and it dont seem like he want to change im to the point where im getting ready to give up on this marriage altogether dont get me wrong i love this man to death but when it comes to sex its all about him and im sick of it what do i need to do please help me
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male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (18 February 2012):
 Sorry to hear the pain you are going through.
It sounds like your husband has some serious issues. If he is having problems maintaining an erection, I think you have to ask yourself why. It could very well be a medical problem, in which case a trip to the doctor could help rule out a physical or hormonal problem. Also, examine his drinking / drugging habits. Often times medicines (legit or not) can have an effect on a man's ability to maintain an erection.
Sadly, his requirement to watch pornography and his philandering ways also indicates that there is a problem with your intimacy. From all that I can tell, you have none. In fact, he sounds like a lazy lover and probably not a very affectionate man. You may love him, but honestly, is he in love with you? Is he attracted to you? Does he show any sort of affection towards you?
I think at this point, I'd urge you to seek marriage counseling. With their help, I think you could get to the bottom of some of your problems. In addition, I'd absolutely URGE you to see a therapist for yourself. A woman who has 3 children by a man who has cheated on her multiple times indicates to me very poor self esteem. Do you not feel that you deserve better? Are you not worried about having sex with a man who will sleep with anyone and possibly bring something home?
I hate to come off as harsh, but it sounds like the problems you are facing are much larger than what happens (or doesn't) in your bedroom. I hope you take stock of where your relationship is going and what you can do to either fix it, salvage it, or flee from it.
I wish you the best.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (17 February 2012):
 married 3 years (not a long time)
three children in three years did you have twins or triplets or once pregnancy a year kind of thing? that seems excessive...
husband has cheated on you SOOO MANY times...
we don't sleep together and when we do have sex it's very short....
you don't know what to do....
you have already talked to him time and time again and he does not wish to change (is he able to change or is he paralyzed by fear or depression??)
you love this man to death
tell me (or actually write yourself a list of) all the reasons you love him and why you should stay... then write another list of all the bad things.
compare the two... which list is longer and what can you deal with?
if the only problem is sex... what about getting his permission to take a lover?
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (17 February 2012):
 It's time to move on. Even though you love him, he is not showing you love.
1."my husband has cheated on me sooo many times"
2. "we dont sleep togther"
3."he rather masterbate then have sex with me"
4. "when we do have sex its very short and sometimes he dont even get hard"
It seems that you are the only one with a dog in this fight, I suggest you move on and find someone else who will treat you the way you need to be treated.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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