A
female
age
,
*llen2
writes:Hiya!! Could someone please help me as I feel so confused! I am 45 and my boyfriend is 50 we have been together for about 3 months now. but have know eachother for about 2 years, We went on holiday for a week and had a great time, Since we got back he said that he felt like he was holding me back, and that I would have been out more if I was not with him, He said that he could see no future for us, And that he thought that he was to confentional for me, I am really heard broken, As I really like him, I always felt that he was the one for me! I am not sure if he just feels insecure or if he is just useing it as an excuse to dump me. I have told him that I had a great time on holiday. he also told me that he cares. I feel so confused!
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female
reader, ellen2 +, writes (2 June 2009):
ellen2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for all the replys that I had, To give an update of what has been happening, My boyfriend asked me to email me his thoughts, As he said that he thought that he was to conserative for me, and that he felt that I would have been out more on holiday, I am 45, But to be honest I think I am a very young age 45!! I love to go out dancing and having fun, He is age 50. He sent me an email this evening and said, that he still felt the same, that he was not the one for me, I live in Dublin and he lives in Belfast, he added that when I was up in Belfast that he would buy me a coffee if I wanted, I am still confused, As I felt that he was for me but never told him,
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 June 2009): he only tells you now after your week away together that he is not interested. wow, how convienient for him, i am sure he enjoyed the week long sex. then he was lapping it up. now he has cooled off? what happened from the holiday time to now? what or who changed.
plse do not WASTE any more time with this "gentleman". yes, you may have thought he is the one but maybe you should count your lucky stars. if he was not man enough previously then you do not need his kind in your life. he set you up, and now he is breaking your heart.
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A
female
reader, TrueLoveCoach  +, writes (29 May 2009):
 I definitely agree with Asian Tealeaf. This man is tell you he's just not that interested. If you stick around trying to convince him that he really is right for you and you had a great time with him, he may resort to either stronger measures or simply disappear.The best thing for you to do is to create some distance between the two of you, getting focused on what you enjoy doing. Have you been neglecting your friends? Make time to see them. What are your hobbies and interests? What would you like to do that you've never tried? Now is the time to focus on you.If he asks why you haven't called or kept in touch, which men who pull away sometimes do, keep your response simple, light, and breezy: "I've just been so busy lately" will work just fine. Then find an excuse to get away quickly to do those things you have been doing.Be careful to avoid using his contacting you as an excuse to tell him how lonely you've been without him, unless, of course, you want to drive him away. Weird thing about men: they respond to distance and they want what they can't have.Create your own happiness as a Successful Single Woman and you will find that you attract many men who are interested in you. I wish you the best of success in your relationships!Michelle E. Vásquez, MS, LPCYour Successful Singles Love Coach
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (29 May 2009):
 what hes trying to say is, in male language that is soft to the touch and wont hurt u as much is, he feels he does not have what he feels u need, he wants to offer more to u, but in his mind he feels u deserve better. i know this because i went thru it before! he wants to break it gently to u, as like he said, he cares for u. and when guys say they care for u, but they dont think their right for u, they basically mean exactly that! im thinking he wants to remain friends, but wants u to move on to greener pastures with no ill-will.
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