A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have been having an affair with a married man for 11 months we have known each other for 30 years, we get on great together have good sex he has never made promises he can,t keep, when we talk about the future he indicates he wants to be with me but says to see what happens in the future. He calls me at least 3-4 times a day and texts me 3-4 times per day he even calls me when he is at home at the weekend and evenings.He has left his wife once before but went back although he states for the wrong reasons. Does anyone think we have a future together? my marriage is over as my husband had 2 affairs in the past and was abusive.
View related questions:
affair, married man, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sues  +, writes (3 January 2011):
I would like to first state that I am truely sorry to hear that you have been subjected to an abusive husband, a point I think everybody else who has commented so far has forgotton!
I do believe there can be a future for you and this man, yes he is cheating on his wife and I believe it is because he is not happy, he left before which proves he was not happy then, and its very unlikely he is happy now, the bottom line is people who are entirely happy in their relationship will not cheat. I had an affair with a married man who was desperately unhappy, he left his wife, we got married and are still together, every single situation is different, you cannot generalise. I do believe that your self esteem may have been affected by you abusive husband, I think you should join a dance club, go to a confidence class and do some really wonderful things for yourself and have a good long think about what you really want, and if you decide that it is this man you want, tell him, and tell him you wont be a bit on the side, see what happens, I wish you the best of luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): poor poor woman. you hb cheated twice on you. and what is your married man doing?? shame, calling the kettle or is it the pot black now are we.
my darling you know the score, if he is f*cking you while being married to someone else, he will f*ck someone else while he is with you. the story continues. it doesn't mean he will stop messing around. you are proof of this. come on, you are a clever woman, do the maths
...............................
A
male
reader, whitemoor5 +, writes (29 May 2009):
 It's your life and you're adult enough to take the consequences, but I suggest you cut off contact with this married man as the old maxim "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned" will come into play.
If he leaves his wife and you marry her, how do YOU know he won't cheat on you, with history repeating itself all over again??
I am sure there are nice men out there or on online dating sites (be careful with that method of dating, possible con-men there!), you just have to know where to look.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): Funny how your marriage was over because your husband had two affairs. I'm sure this had no affect on you because your doing the same thing.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): hello friend. If you don't listen to anyone on here please listen to me. i was in your shoes and i am trying desparatly to get out of it. but when your in love with someone it is even harder. especially if you see that person every day. i ask the same question on here a while back and i hated everyones response. but you know what they were right. i left my husband to be with him and had to start with nothing. so here i am alone and broken hearted i cry everynight. my friend was well off and he has decided that he can't leave now he will lose everything that he has worked his whole life for. we were together 2.5 years. he still wants to be with me on the side but i am getting out. i has hurting so bad that i actually find my self crying at work. i cry when i see him and i work with him so thats even harder. i have to act as if nothing is wrong. he says i honestly didn't think it would be this hard to leave home but it is to hard for him or the real reason he never loved me to begin with and i have accepted that although i will love him until i die. i will never be the same. no one knew about the affair so atleast i don't have to worry about looking at people who knew. sweetheart he want leave to have a future with you. i have known him for a while as well and that really didn't make any differences. i hope you don't get heart broken the was i am now. i find myself actually thinking of killing myself just to get away from the pain. good luck on your future.
...............................
A
female
reader, babymama99  +, writes (29 May 2009):
 I agree with rythymandblues. why would you ever think there is any future in this for you and he. and why would you want it. he has already shown you that he is a lier and a cheat. you know this first hand.
he calls and texts you. well that just wonderful, but he's calling you and texting you while building a life with his WIFE. you on the other hand are waiting for his calls and texts.
Please understand, you said that your marriage failed because your ex cheated on you. If this man were to leave his wife for you this will put you right back in the same position you were in with your ex husband. you are involved yet again with a man who sees no problem cheating on the woman he is susposed to love above all others.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2009): If you thought this relationship had a future you wouldn't be asking this question.
What floors me is that you state your marriage is over because your husband had affairs. Do you not remember how that made you feel? Did you not think the woman he was having an affair with made a choice to be a DIRECT THREAT TO YOUR FAMILY.
This is a classic affair, well lets just wait and see, gee I went back to my wife for the wrong reasons. I am not really a cheater....this is a pattern.
Calling and texting you is minimal effort to keep the sex going.
He has never not kept a promise, oh yeah?
...............................
|
