A
female
age
41-50,
*rayt
writes:i was with my partner for 12 years and have an 11 year old son, we have been apart 1yr now he said his feelings had changed so he moved out , he often said he regretted his decision and is relly upset that he hurt me , he has been in hospital with anxiety attacks and for the last year when he needs help or is down it was me he came to this lead me to believe we still had a chance as i still love him and want my family back together ... last week he said he couldnt keep doing this to himself anymore and that i deserve to be happy, he then text to say he was letting our son meet his friend... who is a girl from work he has feelings for and probably has for the whole year, he has probably been seeing her and then on a couple of occassions has ended up staying with me ... while he was stringing me along when he needed help...where do i go from here do i just forget about it all or how do i get him to want to come home and be with us .. i do still love him
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female
reader, trayt +, writes (19 May 2010):
trayt is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the feed back guys ... i dont think there is a point in asking him as he seems to have made his choice and that was to throw 12 years away, to be honest it is killing me that my child is sitting there for the night with the two of them ,but i think what is best now is to grin and bear it what else can i do ?
A
female
reader, hmcm  +, writes (18 May 2010):
i feel for you, but you have to ask him and he has to be truthful, does he want to be with you, he seems very confused about what he wants,either that hes just a scoundrel who uses people,but first and foremost is your feelings and your sons,we cant make people love us but if you have respect for yourself others will follow suit, good luck x h
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): You have to move on, your son will be confused at first but this is the best thing for all of you in this situation. Let your son meet this other woman and be supportive about it, I know that it will hurt to allow this, but you want to take the high road in this situation.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 May 2010): Dear lady,
Forgive and forget is the best strategy to be happy. The way you told, it seems you both are good person and have a chance. It is EGO BATTLE which seems to be holding both.
Some one would need to make positive move and things may start becoming positive.
He wants you to be happy and you want him to happy and all to be happy and only way it can happen is be together and start forgetting the mistakes that every one did.
Thanks
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 May 2010):
Absolutely leave him. This man dumped you, moved out and effectively deserted you. Then he came back and talked a load of crap about how he 'regretted it'. Now he's been cheating? So basically, he used you for a bed for the night and the comforts that a decent woman like you provides. You'll never be able to trust him again, or believe a word he says. And if you do take him back and he cheats again, you'll feel worse and your son might start to get confused and resentful, and end up losing respect for you and him. Face facts here, please. He's a lying cheat, and has strung you along. That's what he is, that's who he is. He's nothing else.
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