A
female
age
36-40,
*randi23
writes:I've been with my boyfriend 6 years he has cheated in the past and we are now past that we have had no problems with it he says he wants me in his life and cant see me out of his world but he hasn't but a ring on my finger. and he hates talking about it. its all in his face. we don't have any kids so nothing but love is holding me in this relationship. i feel hes wasting my time, i feel he thinks he can do better hes just cant find it in his heart to tell me or let me go because he does love me and its been 6 years he cant see himself moving on. i feel he should know by now if i am the one. we are so close we know each other to the T! we are super close to each others families, but i know he doesn't want to even get engaged to me right now and i don't understand why??? should i leave him???
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female
reader, brandi23 +, writes (11 November 2009):
brandi23 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for ur help. we talked he told me hes not ready for a child because he doesnt wanna give things up.....basicly putting the child first and its hard work. i understand it but i want it, im willing to wait though. then the getting married thing he said he just doesnt wanna get married right now. even in the next 1 or 2 years. when hes ready hes ready. what about me??? i think im ready to leave because i see this will never change. i know i may not find a man in a year to marry, thats not my goal. i want him. so i may never get married and im fine with it.
A
female
reader, pancakes rule  +, writes (9 November 2009):
why do you wantto get married so much? You are still very young.
are you afraid you wont meet somebdy else? Getting marriedis no guarantee that you will stay together, and it sounds as if you think that it is. Maybe you both need to mve on and see what is out there.
good luck
xx
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (9 November 2009):
 I have always heard that men and women are motivated by two totally different things when it comes for marriage. For women, they are ready to get married when they find the right guy. For men, they get married when it's the right time in their lives. This can create a total clash between two people in a relationship. I have heard of men being in a relationship of seven years and not get married, only to get out of that relationship, and marry the next girlfriend within dating her for six months. It happens. I don't know why, it just does. I think men like to feel they have the best deal in life, what with partners, job, and age before they even consider getting married.
Anyway, I think you should definitely talk to this guy about things. If he says that he isn't 'the marrying type' then you have to decide whether you want to keep seeing him or not. It is an ultimate goal for a lot of couples to eventually get married. There's nothing wrong with that. If his goals aren't the same as yours, don't try to change him, and just leave the situation. You won't be happy giving him more of your time without any sign of progress in your relationship if that's what you're looking for. And hey, after six years, I would think that a man would be ready to consider marriage. The fact that he won't even talk about it isn't a good sign.
You're still young though. And it's hard to break up things after six years of being together. But if he isn't really willing to take the next step with you after all that time, maybe it's time to reconsider things. Best of luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2009): There is more to life than being married.
It doesnt sound your madly in love with each other.
I think you should break up with him and see how you feel. 6 years is a long time. You guys are both still young and have a lot of living to do .
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