A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im talking to this guy and we connect extremely well.weve only talked via instant messenger,and im waiting for him to get back from another state next month so we can meet.he is there for work.anyways,just lately ive been feeling a little uneasy.his internet cuts out a lot becuz hes on a laptop but sometimes i wonder if he just isnt replying back becuz he doesnt want to talk to me.like after 15 minutes or so of nothing,ill say goodnight and still no reply.but it says hes online.a few times i suggested that he could call me.last night i told him to call me today if hes not busy,becuz he did mention the fact that we havent talked on the phone yet so i took that as him wanting to talk on the phone.but when i asked if he still had the number i gave him,i got no response.asked if he was there and he said yes.so i just told him again that he could call tomorrow if he wants to and i was going to bed.no response.and today no call.im confused! when we talk he acts really happy that im online,but i feel like im getting mixed signals...or am i just over thinking things? also i would call him,i have his number becuz he emailed me pictures,but he never suggested that i should call....so i havent.hes told me before that he can be a little shy with women at first,but he also said he feels really comfortable with me....so what gives? right now im considering backing off for a few days or maybe a week.but i dont want him to think im not interested anymore....im just so confused
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): i apologize if you find it confusing,i didnt feel that capital letters were all that important for a casual question.i thank you for your advice.
honestly ive done no chasing.we talk maybe 4 times a week.we both have expressed a strong interest in each other,and he says things all the time to show it.i dont think that wanting to talk on the phone after chatting for over a month is considered chasing.i just dont want to be wasting my time.and he was the first to even mention the phone.the only reason i ask him stuff twice when he doesnt answer is becuz sometimes he says he doesnt get my messages,and even thinks that ive stopped chatting to him.anyways,ill stay away for a few days.if anything it will atleast give me time to decide if its worth it to continue chatting.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (12 October 2008):
 I am confused as well, mostly because you used absolutely no captial letters in your whole question. Texting is fine on ur phone, it isn't the best way to communicate clearly with a large group of people, however. I'm not sure if this guy is avoiding you of not. The best way to figure this out for yourself is to NOT ask twice for a response. Let HIM be the next person to text or call after your next queiry. Don't text, call or email him back until he responds to you FIRST. If he doesn't communicate with you again, he isn't interested. If he does respond, but he takes a long time to do so, he probably isn't as intested as you are. I'm worried that you appear to be chasing him a bit. Guys like to be the hunter. Back off and allow him to chase YOU instead. Good Luck and hope this helped!
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A
female
reader, el Lori +, writes (12 October 2008):
 Back off for a few days as you were planning to do, some space might be good for the both of you.You also might be over thinking thinking if he does not respond right away he might speaking to other people at the same time. Good luck!
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