A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello I need an advice here, my boyfriend is really wonderfull, he treats me like a princess all the time, my problem with him is that he is very affectionate physically talking, he hugges me, he kisses me all the time, and he is always complimenting how I looks ( I have always been told by many people that I am very attractive). the problem is that for him is very dificult to express his feelings, he comes from a family that everybody repress their emotions, and the lacks of comunications is incredible in that family. The only time he talks about his feelings is when he feels threaten that I may leave him. In the deep of my heart I know he loves me, he always remember everything about me, my job, my classes, my doctor's appointments, everything.The other problem is that he has to work a lot, he emigrate to this country 9 years ago, like myself, but I had better luck and I have my green card, but not him, he doesn't have job authorization so he has to work more for less money, so obviously he doesn't have a lot of free time, we normally see each other 3 times a week, and i am fine with that as long as he is still interested in myself. Also he has this friend that is a female, that I am extremelly jelaous about, even when my boyfriend doesn't give me motives, she is not even atractive, but you don't need to be attractive to atract the oposite sex.The other problem is that i am always the one planing our dates, he is very bad planner, his friends are always complaining that he is very bad doing plans, I know he tries with me, he tries to do it but it doesn't comes naturally for him. The problem with all this is that I am having strong problems with my anxiety, I haven't talk to him about that I need his support, but this relationship is giving me some stress, so i don't know if I should stay, I really love him, and I know he loves me, has someone pass for this, how can i improve this issue?, should I stay?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2008): Anon girl, I think he has a "masculine insecurity" problem. Men must feel secure in their own abilities to "provide" and be in charge of any problems that may happen. Your BF does not feel secure that he can do this. I don't know how you might help, except to assure him that you do love him. That can give a man a lot of confidence. If he needs a good job, there are ways to get a green card that he may not know how to do. You might try to help him do this...without seeming to be the "boss" female. Get some male relatives to talk with him and try to get him a green card. Sorry, I can't help more.
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