A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm dating this guy who is three years older than me.He has broken my heart several times buh he comes back apologising. Yet lately i was told he was using me to forget his previous girl and he lied about everything and all the promises he made to me. Im really hurt, i cannot sleep at and somtimes i stay through the night crying, his first gf told me he denied our relationship when she asked him. He's even dating a different girl while he was still with me. Im heartbroken, how can i forget him?
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cheated on me, heartbroken, his ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 August 2012):
 Thank your lucky stars that he moved on.
Learn to LOOK at a person's actions, not just listen to their words. If you look back at this guy, you will see that his actions were appalling and everything that came out of his mouth were lies, so honestly.... YOU came out the winner here. You no longer have a lying scumbag of a boyfriend.
As for getting over him. Well cut him completely out of your life, block/delete his phone number, Facebook, e-mail.. EVERYTHING.
It's OK to feel a little heart broken, but honey, he's not worth it. In time you will find someone who is.
Learn from this "relationship" and know what NOT to accept in a partner in the future. Learn to listen to your gut instincts and follow not just you heart, but your head & gut too.
And lastly, stop beating yourself up. So you dated a bad apple.. Stuff happens, you move on.
A
female
reader, myrnathatminx +, writes (2 August 2012):
I agree with Abella.
Honestly I went through a few guys like this in high school. One in particular I know still has the same issues as this boy and he is 25 years old! He is the one I laugh about the most because he did the same tning to me that that guy did to you and he porked up. Seriously, his head looks like a bowling ball.
I ran into a high school acquaintance a couple of years ago and she gave me a few juicy tidbits of gossip- which is bad but amusing- about him.
I had found out that this acquaintance had dated him too at one point and went through even more drama than me. What's more- she didn't exactly say it, but I was under the impression that she had dated him when I dated him.
I wasn't mad about it though b/c it had happened so long ago.
It was, however, refreshing to remind myself of why it was such a good thing that it didn't last with that loser.
Like Abella said, block him, cut him off completely. Don't even let him think you are even remotely hurt, much less missing him.
I made the mistake of trying to stay friends with the guy I was talking about- and he continued to touch me inappropriately and tell me how beautiful I was and how much he loved me still.
When I told him to stop touching me like that and reminded him that we were no longer in a relationship, he told my bus driver that I had been sexually harassing him and I got into trouble.
7 years later, he has sent me a friend request on Facebook and I still won't accept it.
Point being, DEFINITELY cut him off or he will continue trying to take advantage of you.
Do other things with your friends to take your mind off of him. Make it clear to them that you want nothing to do with him.
If you hurt so much, especially by youself with no friends around to distract you, do some visualizing of distancing yourself from him. What worked for me was this:
Imagine personifying your feelings for him [they can look like him or someone else] and have them be pushed away as if by a magnet that repells. Push it away to somewhere you won't deal with it anymore- for me it was a dark void.
Whenever I kept picturing him in my head I did that and I also imagined having blinders on the sides of my head that automatically blotted out his existence. I used the blinders visualization thing whether he was really in the room or I was just thinking about him.
I also kept a journal to vent and most importantly, I think, I did my best to stay in the part of my brain that problem solves, not the part that was emotional. I did this by taking a deep breath, imagining a string pulling at the top and center of my forehead [about where the problem solving part is] and reminding myself that what he did was wrong, he's a loser and I deserve way better.
I hung out with friends, went to the movies and flirted with cute boys- didn't date anyone for a while though which is good. I got over it faster than I thought I would, though that is different for everyone.
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (2 August 2012):
 I am so very glad this player has moved on. Heaven help the next few girls who have to suffer his duplicity. He will break hearts all his life until he finally finds a woman silly enough to believe his lies for the rest of her life.
You have been saved hundreds of hours and days of pain and misery. How does live with himself being such a liar?
He has done you a Great Favour. Now run fast in the opposite direction.
How do you forget him:
Block him on your facebook. Never answer any communication he attempts to make with you. Refuse to deal with him no matter how he cajoles you. He truly is a waste of space no matter how charming he can be when he wants his own way.
Get out into the community and develop some new interests where you are most unlikely to meet up with him accidentally. If any friends are giving him updates on what you are doing then be very guarded with those persons. You need to starve him of any information on you.
If you still have photos of him then put those photos in the trash. If there is an item of clothing that was his favourite then sell it on Ebay or give it to a charity shop.
Try to develop some new 'favourite places'. If you used to go to X Coffee place then go to a new one.
Try out some new places and some new experiences that cannot remind you of him.
If he liked your hair up then wear your hair down or vice a versa.
Forge a new life when he is not welcome.
Be very very thankful that fortune has Smiled on you by him breaking up with you. What he did, by breaking up, is a wonderful Gift. Enjoy a better life now, because you will have a better life, without him in it.
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