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He says he's going to cheat on me - should I chase after him?

Tagged as: Cheating, Teenage, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 October 2009) 7 Answers - (Newest, 6 October 2009)
A age 30-35, anonymous writes:

to make a long story short, me and my bf of 3months have been fighting lately because he tells me hes going to go chill with other girls and cheat on me and stuff and i get pissed and he gets mad and says im insecure. so now he said he needs to think, and he is having doubts about us and doesnt know what to do. i will be so sad if i lose him! i told him im sorry and don't want to lose him and that if he needs space then we can change things for a while but i don't know what he's thinking! i've tried talking to him but he just keeps saying "i don't know" or "we will see". what do i do?? please help! =(

View related questions: insecure, needs space

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A female reader, HereAreMyTwoCents United States +, writes (6 October 2009):

HereAreMyTwoCents agony auntIt is unacceptable for him to tell you that he's going to cheat on you and then expect you to stay in the relationship. If the one I'm with told me he is going to cheat on me, I would be packing that same day. Seriously. That is a colossally messed up thing for him to say to you. You should not be sad at all about losing your cretin boyfriend. Which is what you must do now! LOSE HIM!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

I feel quite angry with your boyfriend after reading this!

I am sorry he is treating you like this. But why are you apologising to him? What have you done? Are you apologising because you are, as he says, "insecure"? You are not insecure. You are being realistic. He says he is going to cheat on you. You don't need to be secure or insecure in this case, you know what he is likely to get up to because he has said it!

He is making you feel like you are doing something wrong in this relationship. You are not. He is the one who is not acting normal here. I think he is probably loving the power he has here.

I know you like this guy, and don't want to lose him. But believe me, you can do so much better than this. This guy will have a negative impact on your self-esteem if this carries on.

My advice would be to leave him. I know you probably don't want to hear that, but that is what I think. He sounds like he just wants to mess around, and doesn't care about other people's feelings in the process. Don't put up with this. Find your power! Say to yourself, "Hey! You know what? I deserve better than this! Why am I putting up with this?!" Believe it, value yourself. Don't let this guy bring you down. Good luck. x

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

You sound lovely and he sounds like a loser.. he really isn't worth the agony so i'd get rid of him. You will probably find he wants to cheat on the next girl too. protect yourself you are worth more..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

Ouch!! Sweetie this guy is an immature jerk!! He obviously enjoys telling you these things knowing that they will upset you.

You deserve better than this, if he wants to cheat well send him on his way, he is not worth all the pain and tears!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

You have nothing to be sorry about.

The guy is acting like an idiot. You should tell him to go. You deserve better and when this guy realises what he has lost he will be back.

Look Im a guy and I would not expect a girl to chase after me if I said that I was interested in another girl.

i wouldnt be surprised if she then tole me to take a hike of i changed my mind.

Look after you, your worth it, let this little boy keep playing his game.

I hope this helps,

elpigaro

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 October 2009):

HI

Oh honey, why are you with this insensitive, arrogant guy? He tells you to your face that he wants to cheat on you and that you are insecure? And he isn't kidding. And that this has been going around for the past 3months. Well, lose him. He seems to be begging to be let off. Seriously, dump him! I don't care if he is saying this only to make you shower him with attention or that he hasn't actually cheated on you, just the fact that he wants to and that he thinks that you are insecure for getting upset at this is too much!!! (I mean just think of the kind of humiliation you will have to suffer if he actually does that). So, dump him before he leaves you and go for a guy a bit more mature than your current one!!

Seriously, and believe me, life will seem lighter and more fun once you loose this man. So, just do it, before he permanently scars you emotionally!!! (ANd please do not think of changing things for him, he is so not worth it. Just dump him).

Bye

Love and take care ;)

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A female reader, Melys South Africa +, writes (6 October 2009):

Melys agony auntHi there...

Just read your predicament and it seems to me that your boyfriend is enjoying you chasing after him.

It's not fair of him to threaten to cheat on you either and of course you're going to get mad if he tells you things like that!

Can I ask you what you were fighting about in the first place?...I can see it's making you feel even worse when he threatens you.

Why don't you just chill out, stop telling him you're sorry, back off and let him come to you...which he will I'm sure. It's a very clever tactic that usually works if he loves you and wants you...or if he doesn't then you'll have to move on to bigger and better things. You're only young and have your whole life ahead of you!

I hope it all works out for you : ) good luck!!

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