A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now and he just brought up wanting a baby with me. I've had an abortion in a past relationship. We are both still in college and as much as I want a kid I just don't see it as a good time to have one especially since we have only been dating for 3 months. I've known my boyfriend for almost a year now and I just can't tell if he's joking with me or if he's being serious. Every time he brings the topic up and I tell him my reasons why he gets a little upset. So is he being serious or is he just kidding around?
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female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (6 June 2017):
He wants a baby after being in a relationship for just 3 months?! Run for the hills
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (22 May 2017):
 If you don't even know if he is being serious or not then you are no way ready to be parents together. You need to be able to talk to each other and know when the other is being serious or not. I don't blame you for not knowing him that well yet though, it has only been three months. I would be worried why he is pressuring for a baby now when you are both in college and are not settled down and in good jobs. Is he even mature enough to be a dad. He needs to slow down. Don't allow him to talk you in to a baby and then end up being a single mother. You have already had an abortion so hopefully you have learnt from that.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2017): Run as fast as you can! Sounds like an idiot. And if you do have sex with him make sure YOU use contraception.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 May 2017):
 I agree with the other ladies, this is NOT cute NOR a good idea.
It doesn't matter if you have known him for 10 years, you have only BEEN a couple for 3 months. YOU are BOTH still in college.
How would you two pay for the cost of raising a child? Ask him that. Do yourself a favor and google HOW much does it cost on average to raise a child.
You are 18-21 so still SO young. ENJOY your youth. Enjoy the time in your lives where you DO not have HUGE responsibilities, outside of working hard on your education. (such as kids, mortgage, careers, cars loans debt, etc.)
And I think you NEED to be FIRM with him in your resolve.
Has he told you wHY he thinks having a kid now is such a great idea that he keeps bringing it up? Can he even ARTICULATE that?
There will be PLENTY of time for kids later.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 What ? You both are in college, you have been dating all of 3 months, and he brings up having a baby ?! And he gets upset when you nix the plan ?!
I bet you find this cute. Endearing.
It's not. If he is kidding, he's an idiot. And if he is serious , he is plain dangerous for you.
If you really want to hang on to him,- I think you should do two things : 1) also hang on , for dear life, to your birth control 2 )I would take YCBS's suggestion a step further, and tell him in no uncertain terms that if he wants to stay with you he needs to STOP bringing this issue up, no matter if in jest or seriously. If he is joking , it's a lame joke and you don't find it funny. If he means it , he must realize that
this is a non- negotiable , a " don't even go there " area for you at this stage in your life and relationship, so he might as well just stop suggesting it.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 Also, please do stick to your guns and not allow broodiness to take over when you know it's not the right time.
You'll have plenty of time to have children someday, but not plenty of time to have few responsibilities.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (22 May 2017):
That's ridiculous - what is he thinking?! Is he your age too?
Either way, he seems to be pushing you. Of course you shouldn't have a baby yet. You're so young and starting out in setting you're own life up, why does he think it's okay to keep bringing it up?
3 months is at least 9 months too soon to be talking about it regularly. Personally, I don't think you should trust him to not try to get you pregnant. Keep control of your contraception and I'd strongly consider breaking up with him - it's too worrying!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 May 2017):
 Woah! BIG RED FLAG! You have been dating for 3 months, you are at college and he is talking babies?
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE make sure you are the one responsible for contraception. At best he is immature and thinks talking babies is the way to ingratiate himself and make you think he is good long term partner material. At worst he is an irresponsible control freak and wants to tie you to him by getting you pregnant. If you did get pregnant, he would probably poo his pants and you wouldn't see him for dust.
In your shoes, I would not even be dignifying his exceedingly stupid and irresponsible suggestion with a polite reply. I would be laughing in his face and saying "I really don't think that's a good idea".
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