A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently stumbled across an old friend and he admitted he liked me 20 yrs ago as i did him . He thought i wasnt interested in him and he was a bit shy so thought i didnt like him that way but i did i fancied the pants off him. im the first to admit if someone likes me ive never been able to twig that they do and i have missed out on opportunities a few times because of this. Anyway fast forward 20 years we arranged to go on a date at the beginning it was really good having a catch up and how we both liked each other and it was good we got to meet again everything went well he had a little bit too much to drink and as the night was ending he said he just wanted to be friends. I behaved extra that night i didnt want to scare him off so didnt let my hair down like i normally would . I think he thinks ive grown up too much and just behave ,he said he was looking for someone whos a bit more up for dancing and doing more things but im a lovely person ( i always get told this so used to a date only being 1 date never a 2nd date ) he hasnt seen me how i would be on a night out all fun happy dancing and laughing . Weve stayed friends and message each other every now and then . Ok the date was about 5 month ago but i want to try again and show him the real me not the person i was on the date. I know i could say if he fancied a catch up and go for a few drinks but i have a feeling he will think its a date even if i say its not. I did suggest he came out with single mates and meet up but he thought i was joking about . Do i give up or do i try something ? thanks for any help and soz its a bit much to read
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 May 2017):
 By all means call him up and ask him would he like to join you on a night out for a few drinks. If he says no then I do think its best if you leave it. If he agrees then show him the real you and see how it goes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2017): If I guy have the hots for you, they don't bother whether you can dance not at first .. theyre just led with the impluses of wanting to kiss and hold you haha . So I would say .. you need to let this go .. he doesn't feel any chemistry and for me staying friends would be okay if that's how someone felt and especially since he did it in a nice manner ... you may have the hots for him .. he is subtle telling you this is no longer reciprocated but he does like you as a person . So hey you haven't lost anything and gained a new friend ..
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (22 May 2017):
 'Just wanted to be friends,' is the killer phrase. It suggests he isn't into you in a romantic way and wanted to make that clear from the start.By all means try and fix another date. Who knows? He may revise his opinion. However invite him to do something you like, not what you think he will like. He has to see the real you and not some fake one you are drumming up for his benefit. If he doesn't want to at least try the things you like doing then it's a poor start I would say.
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (22 May 2017):
What have you got to lose by asking him out? But don't be disappointed if he says no.
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