A
female
age
41-50,
*yliew
writes:Ive been with my partner for 5years. The last 6months ive had depression and i didnt no, but in that time i said nasty stuff to him that i didnt mean. Last weekend we broke up over the phone as we live with his parents in their garage and it was driving us crazy, but we didnt mean it though. He slept with another girl that night. The next day we made up but now hes telling me he loves me so much but hes not inlove with me anymore as i said so much nast stuff 2 him. Ive met the girl he slept with and shes exactly like me as personality is concerned, before i had the depression. she knows we are trying to fix things and work again but she keeps calling him and saying shes inlove with him after 1week. I love him so much and would love 4 us 2 get back together. He went to tell her 2 stop calling but im scared he may be falling 4 her as she keeps complementing him and she is something new to him. Should i keep trying and see if he falls inlove with me again or leave? Im so inlove with him its driving me crazy.
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broke up, get back together Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Sister Sue......Let this fella go. If he truly loves you, he will Man Up, and let go of lady # 2 and come back to you humble and sincere. A real man doesn't string two Ladies along. You are worth more than waiting by the phone. Let him come to you when he hits puberty and grows up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): Sorry I must be tired, please ignore that, I've made a mistake and that link is not valid.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2008): There is an update to this post, please continue the story at http://www.dearcupid.org/question/more-advice-is-needed.html
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 June 2008):
 When he sees you are dating another guy ,
he may come rushing back to you.
The thought of totally losing you has not sunk into his mind yet.
Do not wait for him. You need to move on with your life.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (20 June 2008):
 Whatever you do, just don't ever give up.
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A
female
reader, kyliew +, writes (20 June 2008):
kyliew is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you so much everyone for your help, advice and feedback. Today he told me one day we might get back together, just not now hes to hurt. He also said the new women is attractive and all but he doesnt have the same feeling with her as he did with me when we were happy together. Im going to move out into a shared accommodation in the next few weeks and try and put us behind. He says at the moment we are just best friends and he doesnt want to be in a loveless relationship-i can understand that. I will probably wait for him a little bit, but i am trying to move on-its just so hard. If we are meant to be we will find each other again somehow.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (19 June 2008):
Sorry about your problems.
Life is short and you need to think positive and not negative.
If the old does not go , the new will not come.
When one door closes , another will open.
Don't go chasing after him , he will instinctively run away from you.
Retreat and he will come after you .
Remember happiness is in your hands and you do not have to depend on anyone for your happiness.
You can read more on this link.
http://www.been-dumped.com/relationship-advice-and-articles.php
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A
female
reader, kyliew +, writes (19 June 2008):
kyliew is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell latest update. He broke up with me today. Its so hard to let go but i no i have to, he seems happy with his new women. We have so much together its going to be so hard to forgive him. Now i have to move out wich is even worse. We have 1 golden labrador and 2 cats whom im going 2 miss so so much. Any good suggestions for trying to get over someone your still inlove with? and missing your babys like crazy?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): I disagree with everyone on here---if love is still in the picture then there still is a shot. Once you lose that hope it is like something inside of you dies. You have to always believe and know that you gave it your best effort. Call him, talk to him, and come to a conclusion. After that conclusion, you will have your final answer and be able to move on, whatever direction that may be.
Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008):
You mentioned that the other girl reminds you a lot about yourself previously, could it not be that he is already "in love" with her, but does not want to admit it to you or maybe even himself yet.
Be very careful not to hang in there, built up hopes and then get hurt even more.
It might be worth having a good heart to heart talk to him about the state of the relationship and if there is a future.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 He's actually avoiding the truth by saying that he loves you but is not in love with you. Either hes in love with you or not in love with you! Hes being a coward who cannot face telling you the truth. And how could he love you if he slept with someone else??? I know you are hurting but it is time for you to move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2008): If he says he's no longer in love with you but does love you, he probably means that he cares about you but he feels the relationship is at an end. Not only that, he slept with another woman the same night - a clear rejection. He was most likely hurt by the things you said to him and may well have wanted to hurt you back by having sex with her.
Still, the best thing you can do now is to LEAVE IT (HIM) and her, ALONE. Try to move on with your life and don't count him as part of it any longer. Yes, you'll be sad and grieve, but you have to think of your own life.
Having said that, IF he decides he wants to try again with you, it will be up to him to make the first move. Until and if he does, just let it be!
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A
female
reader, hannah76  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 Yes, Daneilepew has got it. It seems like a lost cause now. By the way....You break up and he is in bed with a girl that night!!
Phewww! That would upset me.
Hannah xx
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A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (18 June 2008):
I wouldn't try again. He says he isn't in love with you anymore; that is what matters, and that is what makes it a lost cause. He's also saying he "loves you", but that is just his way of softening the blow.
I think you should move on and see this as a new beginning.
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A
male
reader, jay12toes  +, writes (18 June 2008):
 he loves you but hes hurt, so you have to try your best to mend those wounds. whens the last time you two went on a date? a night out every couple of weeks is good for the relationship. and if your madly in love with him then make sure you show him your madly in love with him. you need to be the women he fell in love with in the first place.
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