A
female
age
30-35,
*heryl04
writes:I don't understand what my man wants. The last time I was with him he told me that he wanted a distance between us ..... because he can't do two things at the same time faculty and me so he said he's gonna stay with his studies and for me it was ok ...coz I would put school first then pleasure later. All this studying thing came up coz he wasn't going to the faculty everytime......... he used to call me to stay with him almost every time after I leave my work place and whenever I used to ask him if he had gone to the faculty, he used say he had gone. The problem I have is that I'm not understanding what he's saying ........ he doesn't want something like a commitment between us (he doesn't want a boyfriend and a girlfriend title) but at the same time he is my man and I'm his chic, I won't cheat on him and he won't do the same. I told him I wasn't understanding what he was trying to say and he should go straight to the point...... he kept on telling me that he is not breaking up the relationship and all he wants is the distance. I'm really in love with this guy and I don't want everything to end just like that. All this is really hurting me coz I think maybe there's a gal involved. I don't know what to do and I can't afford to lose him. Is there anything I can do about it? plz help Reply to this Question
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male
reader, yum yum  +, writes (29 October 2008):
 I can't really know why he wants to take a distance however his reason that he gave you seems plausible to me. It is important to have a distance sometimes in a relationship for it to be succesful. Being too close can cause tention and in the long run spoil the relationship.
A
female
reader, shiraz  +, writes (29 October 2008):
hiyah your relationships got slightly complicated and is getting worse as the days go on, i think both of you need a break not to end it just breakit up for a few days to each sort you head out and go back with a fresh mind on what you both want from this relationship.
he seems to be using the studies as an excuse too much although this plays an important role in his life right now he needs to get his prioritys staright and let you know where you stand. tell him you respect what hes saying but would of prefered him to just be honest and let you know what the problem really is and not to cover it up by blaming it on things that are not the problem.
he wants distance this is a guys way of saying i need time out to sort my head, they find it hard to show emotions and so he could be sending wrong signals without even knowing it and on top of everything else YOU have to work this out! its hard i know but i think your both so involved its getting to him first.#
the fact that he doesnt want a title worries me, thats bnot what your asking for you just want respect and to know where you stand with this guy, its his job to tell you straight without messing you around constantly.
there is faults in every relationship yours are showing now as as soon as you hit one fault they all come out flooding around you and you have to deal with it, together, it can mke or break you.
your literally working against each other battling agains oppisite things and its never going to work this way.
talk to him and have a break from it all. let it all out and why not say maybe its you who needs space this time? you might not feel like being away from him but in the long run itll help you a lot more. hes mixed up and its confusing you.
best of luck x
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